Movie star, TV star, literary star, Broadway star and poetry star James Franco stopped by this morning to set the record straight about his three latest controversies and, thankfully, he was an honest, open book.
The first order of business was James’s appearance on the infamous Lindsay Lohan F*ck List that was supposedly found in the bar of the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. Last time James was on the show, he denied ever sleeping with Lindsay, so Howard was confused when he read the list. James held to his story – he did not have sexual relations with that woman. Consciously, at least. He admits that that kissed once, a long time ago (he pinpointed it somewhere around the filming of Spider Man 2) and there was one other bizarre incident.
When James was attending UCLA, he and Lindsay were both living at the Chateau Marmont. He claimed that she obviously liked him, and he’d come home from class and he’d see a party going on in one of her two rooms.
“She even broke into my room one time,” he said. “I was on the couch and opened my eyes and there’s Lindsay in my room at 3 am.” So, James allowed, it’s a remote possibility that he made love to her while he was sleeping, but that’s the only way Lindsay could be telling the truth in any way. Naturally, once he was awake, James read Lindsay a story to pass the time.
Lindsay was infatuated with James, and kept asking him to hang out, so he relented and invited her to a rehearsal of a play he was directing. Lindsay actually showed up, sat in the empty theater and started rudely critiquing the actors. ‘I said ‘Lindsay, you can either shut up or you can leave,’’ James said. ‘I didn't even want her there. I invited her to be nice.’ Lindsay stormed out of the theatre ‘and we locked the door.’
James wrote two poems about Lindsay in his new collection of poetry, ‘Directing Herbert White.’
‘I will swear on anything you ask,’ James said, ‘that I have never had sex with Lindsay Lohan.’
So, there you have it: James Franco definitely did not have sex with Lindsay Lohan (probably).
James doesn’t really read reviews, at least not of his movie acting, because he claims he’s done enough work that he knows what he’s doing. Theatre, though, is a newer frontier for him, so he was curious about what New York Times theatre critic Ben Brantley had to say about his Broadway show ‘Of Mice and Men’. Ben didn’t love it, and James was not pleased.
He claimed that almost everyone in the theatre community hates Ben Brantley. He is often critical of ‘celebrities’ appearing in Broadway shows, and, according to Franco, he picks ‘his’ favorite revival (which this year was ‘the Glass Menagerie’) and he sticks with it.
James’ most recent controversy was hitting on a girl outside the Longacre Theater, where Of Mice and Men is playing. He thought the girl was cute and asked her if she had a boyfriend. The girl said ‘not when you’re around’ and James thought it was go time.
He asked her to tag him in the Instagram selfie they took and, since her Instagram page was all about ‘I love James Franco’ he kept flirting with her via the app.
Of course, it turned out she was seventeen, and the story went all around the internet. James apologized and feels bad for the girl. In his estimation, she probably thought she was showing something to her friends and didn’t realize how bad it would get.
‘It was about how she looked,’ James said, ‘not how old she was.’
James was sad to end to end the interview and admitted that he loves talking to Howard. He asked that we have him back at the end of the summer for a two hour Franco block.
Actor and comedian David Spade, frequent Stern Show guest, stopped by just after James Franco – and admitted that he would’ve just gone long with James and skipped himself.
But, he’s far too modest. David went through some of his new stand-up material and told some great showbiz stories.
And who knows, maybe David actually did bang Lindsay Lohan.
Here are the highlights from David’s interview:
David was into cocaine at one point, but his body wasn’t as big a fan of it. He once did way too much while staying at a friend’s mom’s house in Milwaukee and ended up wide awake all night. Finally, he felt like something bad was happening, so he convinced his buddy to drive him to the hospital. ‘My blood pressure was like five million over six trillion.’ They ended up sitting in the car in the parking lot until the sun came up. The heat was blasting and his buddy just let him talk and talk. What fun! David swore to himself that he’d never do coke again. ‘But two days later …’
Another big fan of cocaine (and a fan David’s) was his late buddy Chris Farley. David is full of great Farley stories and today’s gem was as good as any. He said he once went to Vegas strip club with the funnyman and Chris paid the worst stripper there to give David ten lap dances. As David sat there uncomfortably, she hobbled around and danced for him. David hated it at the time, but it was such a good burn that he’s uses it frequently on his other friends.
David feels that he didn’t get a lot of sketches on Saturday Night Live because Al Franken didn’t like him. Another writer, Robert Smigel, told David that Al didn’t like him, but Al never told David himself. Still, David does make an appearance in the Best of SNL collection thanks to his performance in Chris Farley’s Motivational Speaker sketch.
David has a show in development at HBO about a music manager who is past his prime. It’s an odd time for David because he hasn’t really been off TV since he started on Saturday Night Live, but his show Rules of Engagement ended last year after seven season - he may go through all of 2014 without appearing in a sitcom.
So, David decided to put together his first stand-up special in ten years. Howard was doing some research and came across some David jokes that he really loved. One particularly great premise was centered around a loft bed with a landlord telling David ‘I don’t want more than 500 lbs up there.’ David’s response was ‘Trust me, I don't want more than 500 pounds up there either.’
David is a funny dude and always a great guest. Don’t miss his stand-up special ‘My Fake Problems’.
I can't get out of the car, David Spade is killing it on @sternshow
— John (@carldehn) April 30, 2014
* Eric the Actor is still alive, but has to go back to the doctor in six months. He recently made it seem like he’d be goin in for open heart surgery, but he’s still cranky and choppy as ever. (Was it all a publicity stunt for his appearance on tonight’s episode of Legit? We may never know.)
* Howard loved the Aston Martin he drove around for America’s Got Talent, but couldn’t imagine spending $350,000 on a car.
* Ronnie ‘the Limo Driver’ Mund has given the world some new Spring sex tips. It’s very possibly that you, the reader, may be eating, so let’s just say they involved dying pubic hair green like fake Easter-basket grass and sticking eggs and chocolates in all kinds of places.
* Respectedl interviewer Charlie Rose praised Howard’s interviewing skills after the Billy Joel Town Hall.