Victoria tries to break the Anal Gang Bang Record!
The Howard Stern Show for September 14, 2004

Howard saw Avril Lavigne on Letterman last night and was really digging her song "Happy Ending". Howard complained that she never dresses hot enough though. Howard listened to the lyrics of Happy Ending and goofed on how the song is about the same fairy tale every chick believes in, like how there is a soul mate out there for them and some perfect guy is going to give them a "happy ending" to their story. In the song, Avril sings about guy she thought was perfect for her and that the guy was everything she thought he wanted, but he listened to his dumb friends and what they had to say about her, and he wasn't only into her, so he ruined her "happy ending". Artie reminded everyone that "Happy Ending" has a very different definition for guys than it does for girls

Sal the Stockbroker, who is currently working for the show on a limited basis, came close to losing his job on only his second day when he pissed off General Manager Tom Chiusano on the air. Sal was goofing on Tom for not having his tie tied in the elevator this morning, saying he thought it looked unprofessional. Tom said that is always how he comes to work and he certainly doesn't need Sal telling him he looks unprofessional. Sal then said that Tom was real mean to him in the elevator and Howard told Tom to try to be nicer to Sal. But then Sal called Tom a douchebag and Tom got so mad he stormed out of the studio. Howard told Sal that he had crossed the line and better go apologize to Tom before he gets fired. Howard debated whether he should ignore the Tom/Sal feud or step in and try to put out the fires during the commercial break. Howard figured either way, he'll just probably stay out of it. Later in the show Gary announced that Tom and Sal had made up - for now.

Tom Chiusano was still on the hot seat though after he ripped into Gary in the hall for booking an interview with porn star Victoria Givens who will be attempting to break the anal gang bang record. Tom was furious that they booked her and demanded to know who even pitched the idea to Howard? Then he promised Gary that he was going to bleep the hell out of the interview today. Howard got really mad about that. He said that we are a creative team and everyone should pitch things to Howard. It's up to him to decide what we should and should not do on the air. Howard said that Tom doesn't' get it because he's not a creative person. Howard told Tom to do whatever he has to do bleeping the show, but do not terrorize the staff like that. Tom complained that he can't talk to Howard about these things because he's never available. Howard said he can't wait to be off terrestrial radio and away from Tom. It's not even Howard's show anymore, it's Tom's show, because the stuff Howard wants the audience to hear never makes it out. Howard said Tom can replace him with any of the various clones out there, or better yet, he can morph some of the clones together, to make super clone shows. Howard suggested Imus Bean (in reference to Don Imus and Kevin and Bean) can replace him in the morning when he leaves.

Jillian Grace called in to give an update on how her Playboy shoot is going. A few months ago her mother wrote the show saying it's her daughter's life dream to be in Playboy and she wanted to help. So Howard had her come in and be evaluated and she was so hot Playboy actually took her to Chicago to shoot some test photos. Jillian called in to say her test shots had gone over so well, she's now being flown out to the Playboy Mansion to stay over for a few days and take some pictures that might put her in the centerfold. Right away, Howard and Artie thought about Jillian's current boyfriend David, saying this is the end of the line for him. Jillian is from Missouri and has never been to LA and Artie couldn't contain his laughter over the thought that Jillian was going to dump David in two seconds. He kept pretending to be Jillian calling David to say things like "Chris Tucker's limo has a lot of leg space" and "The drummer from Van Halen says I have a great personality". Then Howard started pretending what Jillian's E! True Hollywood Story would sound like. Howard started to predict that Jillian's new name will be Jillian Durst. Artie says right after she changes it from Jillian Bryant. Jillian felt bad because her boyfriend got upset the last time they talked like this. Jillian did say that Hugh Hefner is already planning on her bringing her out to a club with some other people and she was told to pick out a few cute outfits for that. Artie just kept laughing and laughing at the thought of her poor boyfriend.

Howard said he still couldn't' believe that Heather Locklear's boobs are real as she claims. He looked at her picture on howardstern.com and couldn't stop staring at them. They actually started to distract him during the show so he had to close the homepage down. Later in the show Robin read a story about how Heather not only said the S word on Live with Regis and Kelly, but she said it because she was talking about being in bed with her husband, but said Jon by mistake (her husband is Jon Bon Jovi's band mate Richie Sambora) Howard then played the clip and found out it was even worse than that. She started to say Tommy Lee's name, not Jon's. Tommy Lee is her ex husband. Howard noted that you always remember the guys with big ones.

Porn Star Victoria Givens came in to discuss the anal gang bang record she is planning on beating. Currently, the record stands at 50 guys, but she wants to go for 100. Victoria had been on the show a few weeks ago where she lost in the Porn Star Olympics. Howard told her she had great boobs, and Victoria said they were fake but felt great. She then let Howard, Artie and Benjy touch them and they all jumped at the chance. She said they were D's but Howard thought they were bigger than that. Then Victoria took off her pants and conducted the rest of the interview wearing only her panties.

It turns out that not only is Victoria married, but she has two kids, 5 and 11 years old. Gary said the 11 year old is only two years away from her friends being at the age where they might actually see one of Victoria's videos. Victoria said that her kids are aware of what she does, but they do not get into detail with them if they start asking questions. Howard wondered if it's hard for Victoria to go to school and be around the other mother and fathers. Victoria said not really, and that she lives in a neighborhood where a lot of other porn star mothers live, so it's not that big a deal. Howard said that sounded like heaven. After Victoria left, Howard regretted not asking her more about this MILF paradise and promised to get her back on the phone so we can learn more. He wondered if that raised or lowered the property value of the neighborhood?

Howard gave Steppin Out Reporter Chaunce Hayden the kook of the week reward because he called us all excited about this hour long phone interview he did with George "Sulu" Takei and then he showed up with his tape and there was such a bad hum on it Howard couldn't' play it on the air. Howard couldn't believe that a seasoned interviewer like Chaunce, who does all his interviews on tape, can't record a phone call cleanly. Chaunce said he didn't think the hum was that bad, but then Howard started playing it and it was painful to listen to. On top of that, Chaunce came off sounding really gay on the tape, especially when he shouted out "Oh no!" when learning that Takei's dog had passed away. Chaunce admitted that sounded really gay, but said that was part of his talent, being able to emphasize and talk like his subjects. Chaunce then tried to change the subject to the Howardstern.com Bulletin Board and Howard begged Chaunce to just leave the studio.

Fat Joe and his crew the Terror Squad came in to perform their hit song "Lean Back". Howard was instantly interested in Remy Martin, the female singer in the band. She is a 23 year old black woman who said she has a reputation for not dating black guys, though that is not true, she just hasn't' found one she's interested in yet. It turns out that Remy has never had an orgasm in her life. Not just with another person, but even with herself. Howard couldn't believe that and suggested she get a vibrator. Remy said a lot of time she fakes an orgasm in bed with men just to signal that they should hurry up and finish. Howard bet something tragic happened to her in childhood. Howard started telling her all the stuff that he'd do to her and really started flirting with her. Howard then goofed on LV from the Terror Squad because he seemed to be getting really jealous over that. Howard later pointed out that during the performance of "Lean Back", Remy stared at him the entire time.

° Fat Joe is not black, he is half Puerto Rican and half Cuban.

° Howard wondered why he was allowed to use the N words in his songs then and Fat Joe told him it was because of the neighborhood in the Bronx that he grew up in, they all used the world around each other there.

° Fat Joe does not smoke weed. He tried it a few times but it makes him really paranoid.

° One time when he smoked pot he ended up running out of his house naked.

° Remy claims she smokes half an ounce of weed a day