THE HOTTEST GIRL EVER – YET AGAIN
The Howard Stern Show for June 11, 2007

Howard started the show saying that Robin's face was looking thinner, and asked if she had continued to shit her brains out over the weekend. Robin said she had not, but noted that she had lost 15 pounds. Artie claimed that, “for a broad, that's a lot.” Robin confessed that she and Judith Regan had given themselves coffee enemas during their weekend together. Robin recounted how she lied on the floor of her shower to give herself the enema, and was only able to hold it for 12 minutes before she had to “release.” She also added that the enemas were all done solo and nobody witnessed anyone else’s “cleansing.”

Robin then revealed that she and Judith also rode bikes, got massages, relaxed in the pool, walked on the beach, and had “heat treatments” over the weekend. Robin mentioned that Judith wore a bikini in the pool, which really intrigued Howard. Both Robin and Dr. Roni denied that Judith had any cellulite, and Robin added that Judith “looked great.” Howard and Artie asked Robin to take notes the next time she saw Judith in a bikini.

Howard wanted to know what Robin would be eating after Dr. Roni left, so Dr. Roni came in to detail Robin's “maintenance” diet of fruits, vegetables, fish, and chicken. Ralph called to tell Robin that she just needed to stop eating carbohydrates, which enraged Robin. Ralph claimed that Robin ate carbs when they went out to dinner, but Robin said it was Ralph who ordered the high-carb dishes. Robin then announced that her goal was to have an “inappropriately good-looking young man” on her arm.

A caller asked Artie if he was indeed staying with show, as he claimed after his Letterman appearance, and Artie confirmed that he was not leaving, saying “that's the official word from the Lange camp.” Howard said he took Artie in a back room and beat him into submission. Artie laughed, and repeated that he was staying.

Howard noted that he thought the Sopranos finale was a huge disappointment, but appreciated what he thought David Chase was trying to do. Everyone thought the scenes with Phil Leotardo's death, the FBI agents, and Uncle Junior were great. Robin gave the episode a C. Fred gave it an F-. Gary gave it a D. Artie gave it a B. Ralph said it was clearly an A. Howard said he gave it a B+. Fred claimed that Artie just liked the episode because it ended in a restaurant.

Jon Hein came in to say he wanted “some kind of payoff”, and therefore couldn't give the episode an A. Jon gave it a B, adding that Ralph has to be crazy to grade it better. Johnny Fratto called up to say he'd been loyal to the show, and now felt betrayed. Fratto added that he didn't want something artful or “true to life”, he wanted closure. Howard then took a bunch of calls from listeners offering a wide range theories about the meaning of the finale's ambiguous ending.

Lisa G came in to report that, while Richard Christy normally takes anti-anxiety pills when he flies, he didn’t feel they were doing the job on a recent flight to Kansas, so he ordered a total 17 drinks between getting to the airport in New York and landing in Kansas. Artie thought this meant that Richard is an alcoholic because of how much he changes when he's drinking. Richard came in to say he just hates flying. Robin and Fred replied that Richard isn't flying when he comes to show parties and functions, but he still gets too drunk.

Lisa G then reported that the Rev Bob Levy, Richard, and Beetlejuice drank together before their flight to a Killers of Comedy show this weekend, but Bob got upset with Richard for letting “a retard like Beetle” get too drunk.

Howard noted that Paris Hilton was taken back to jail on Friday, and he was happy about it. Robin said they threw her in jail and found out she was crazy. Howard said Paris was afraid of being photographed as she used the toilet, so she refused to go. Howard thought her punishment was justified, as drinking and driving is a serious offense.

Artie revealed that he went to SpikeTV's “Guy's Choice Awards” hosted by Tracy Morgan this weekend. Artie said Tracy was fighting with the director of the awards show during the taping, and that he was paid to come out and do stand-up along with Joe Rogan and Dave Attell. Artie said Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, Steve O, Kevin James, and Adam Sandler were all there and it turned into a “huge drinking party”. Artie loved the fact that there were “500 waitresses in mini-dresses”, but Miss USA, Tara Conner, was the hottest.

Artie admitted that he didn't get laid, even after heading over to Tracy Morgan's after-party at a bar named Teddy's. Ralph called up to say that Artie was horrible at picking up girls, and Artie admitted that the weekend wasn't good for his confidence. Artie said Carmen Electra danced to ZZ Top “like a stripper, in a stripper outfit.” Ralph asked about the other actresses there, and Artie said Elisha Cuthbert and Minka Kelly looked great.

Artie went back to his hotel and “jerked off to chicks [he'd] met an hour before” and then had a Kit-Kat bar. The next day, he had an early flight, and saw Eliot Gould in line at check-in. Eliot didn't recognize him, and looked “sad, like one of those celebrities that's been pampered.” Later, as he sat in first class, Artie called one of his buddies and loudly trashed Gould, only to realize that Gould was sitting in the seat directly behind him. Artie said that if Gould had punched him, he would've been justified.

Maroon 5 came in to promote their new record, and Howard interviewed lead singer Adam Levine about their career. Adam said the band got signed when he was 17, and admitted that the band has been good for his sex life. Howard told Adam that one of the interns got “all dolled up” because she knew Adam was going to be here today. Adam said flattery is nice, but noted that his girlfriend was in the green room. The band performed their big hit, “This Love,” which led Howard to say he understood why they get laid so much.

Howard asked Adam about hooking up with Jessica Simpson, to which Adam replied that he's listened to Howard long enough to know that the guys who give up names on the show always end up looking bad. Howard read a long list of young Hollywood actresses and models that Adam's been rumored to have slept with, but Adam admitted nothing. Adam said he'd dated Kirsten Dunst and Kelly McGee, but denied that he'd slept with Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Natalie Portman, Heather Vandeven, and Maria Sharapova. Adam revealed that the band did play Sharapova's 18th birthday party, which led Artie to say “the best hot chick birthday party is the 18th.”

Adam's girlfriend, Becky, came in, and said he met her in Vegas. Becky was a hostess at the 9 steakhouse in the Palms. Adam said she still works as a cocktail waitress at the Roosevelt Hotel in LA. Howard expressed surprise, and Adam explained that they're moving slowly. Howard said he couldn't find any faults on her, and asked Adam if he would stay with her if she was disfigured. Adam said he would not, but noted he'd stick with her if she gained 20 pounds. Adam claimed Becky was the best sex he'd ever had, and claimed they slept together the first time they met.

Artie claimed Becky was “the hottest chick we've ever had up here”, adding that, if Adam wasn't around, he'd offer her $50,000 to sleep with him. Artie then said “if there was any justice, [Adam] would come back as a slug.” Becky went back behind Artie's desk to sit with him as the band covered the Beatles' “Don't Let Me Down.” After the song, Gary came in to note that Becky was completely uninterested in Artie during the performance. Howard noted that she didn't take her eyes off Adam the whole time.

Bong Hit Eric called up to see if Howard could put a picture of Becky up on Howardstern.com. Artie said Adam had a blessed life of prep school, hit songs, and hot chicks. Howard said before he met Beth, his game was to steal the girl from famous guys. Robin asked if he ever succeeded, and Howard confessed that he did “a couple times.” High Pitch Eric then called to say that Becky looked “f’ing hot in those cowboy boots”, which got Howard and Artie to do their High Pitch Eric impressions. Bong Hit said he loved the pictures of Becky and thought he could see one of Becky's nipples, which led Howard to remark that Beth was particularly good at spotting nip-slips.

While on the subject, Howard read an email that asked if Robin rubbed her nipples when she masturbated. Robin admitted that she did on occasion. Howard was blown away, saying he thought Robin went straight for her “love button.” Robin said she also played with her other erogenous zones, but added she'd never let HowardTV film the process.

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