ALANIS ON THE HOT SEAT
The Howard Stern Show for June 11, 2008

Howard started off the show noting that the Reverend Bob Levy apologized to Gary for his on-air rampage with a hilariously error-ridden letter. After giving it a once-over, Artie said the letter was written at a 2nd grade level, but since Bob never completed high school, the grammar and spelling mistakes were almost understandable.

Howard said that Alanis Morissette would be coming in later in the day, and he hoped to talk to her about her break up with her former boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds. Artie said he could've warned Alanis about Ryan, as they worked together on “Dirty Work.” Ryan was dating “an older woman...who could help his career” at the time, and while most of the crew knew not to make fun of him, Chris Farley hadn't gotten the memo. When Farley showed up on set, he mocked Ryan mercilessly and repeatedly called him “Ryan Tinkerbell.”

Howard noticed that Artie's lips were chalky and asked if he'd popped a Subutex. Artie confessed he had, explaining that he had a difficult day ahead of him: he's gotta do a photo shoot for the cover of his new book. Artie said he wasn't looking forward to posing for photos at his current weight, so Howard and the HowardTV crew brought in a bunch of flattering images from past shows for him to choose from.

Johnny Fratto called in to go over Eric the Midget's travel invoice for his recent trip to LA. Howard followed along, noting that, among other complaints, Eric says his stay at Motel 6 was a big disappointment because he's used to staying at the Four Seasons. Johnny also said Eric asked to be paid for the 96 hours he spent in LA at $35 an hour. Eric called in to repeat his claim that he was in LA to work for Johnny, and Johnny admitted the little guy was right - but the agreement was void after Eric refused to wear - as agreed - the promotional clothes he was supposed to.

Lisa G reported that Ronnie the Limo Driver has never had a colonoscopy - despite being over 50...the age at which men are advised to have the procedure. Ronnie came in yell that Lisa was just striking back at him for ribbing her in the halls and claimed that Lisa actually cried as she came out of the studio yesterday, but Lisa denied both stories. Howard wondered why Ronnie would get a colonoscopy, as prostate cancer symptoms don't crop up until the disease is past the point of being treatable. Ronnie didn't seem to have an answer - or the ability to say "colonoscopy" correctly.

Alanis Morissette stopped by and Howard told her that the guys in the back were all excited by the hot women in her entourage. Alanis confirmed the reports: “I can't help it, I'm a magnet for them.” Howard asked Alanis about her ex, Ryan Reynolds, and Alanis diverted, noting that her music comes from one of two possible sources: love/joy or pain/anger. Howard also wondered what Alanis thought of Ryan's new girlfriend, Scarlett Johansson - or her music - but Alanis refused to comment.

Howard noted that Alanis went to therapy five days a week after her breakup with Ryan, but Alanis insisted “It's not always about the guy, dude. It's about me...It takes two to tango.” Alanis went on to say she only waited “a couple months” after her breakup before having sex again. Howard asked Alanis' guitarist, David, why he didn't intervene in her relationship, so David explained that he just decided to be nice and wait it out.

Howard asked what Alanis liked to do in the bedroom, and she replied that a more appropriate question was: “What don't I like to do?” Alanis told Howard, “You're cute," explaining that she was charmed by his curiosity. Getting nowhere, Howard then demanded that Alanis start singing the songs she'd written about her exes: "Let's hear a Dave Coulier song and then a Ryan Reynolds song." Alanis obliged, performing "Hand in My Pocket" and then a new song, "Underneath."

Howard wondered if Alanis had ever been with woman, and instead of replying, she became very quiet. Howard was elated: "You're wilder than I thought! Did you ever bring a woman into the bedroom with your man?" Alanis was obviously uncomfortable with Howard's line of questioning: "Can we talk about this next song?" Robin joined in as well, asking if Alanis had ever taped herself having sex or taken nude pictures, and Alanis admitted she had: "I destroy them eventually."

In exchange for her honesty, Howard promised Alanis that he'd honestly answer any question she had - but only one. After thinking for a little bit, Alanis asked if Howard had ever had a threesome, and Howard buckled: "I'm gonna come clean. One night - eight years ago - I was in a situation with these two girls. We were messing around and one of them grabbed my penis and put it in her mouth. I was not into it. She said to me, 'You were not paying attention to me and I got your attention.’” Howard then joked, "I don't want to give the names of both women, but one of them was Joan Rivers."

Charlie Murphy stopped by to promote his new DVD, "Bar Starz," and he and Howard immediately bonded over the nightmarish childhoods they spent in Roosevelt, Long Island. Howard asked if Charlie had spoken with Dave Chappelle recently, but Charlie admitted he'd only talked with Dave a few times: "In the past three and a half years, not much...whatever's going on, it must be big. I have no explanation for where he's at right now. It's strange to me."

Robin asked Charlie about his brother, Eddie's impromptu wedding in Bora Bora, but Charlie laughed that he couldn't say - he wasn't even there due to scheduling conflicts. Charlie added: "It wasn't even real...It was a Fantasy Island wedding." Gary confirmed the story, explaining that the marriage wasn't legal in the US. Howard then shifted gears and asked Charlie if he smoked weed. Charlie fessed up: "Quite often." Howard wondered if Charlie smoked with his "hoes," but Charlie balked: "I don't have hoes, I smoke with my bros."

Charlie told the crew about sleeping on the freeway in West Virginia: "All the traffic came to a dead halt. We sat there from 9 o'clock at night until 7 the next morning...they had a sniper [on the road ahead] who shot three people. We were in a big white limo, which would've been a perfect target." Howard then asked if Charlie was ever seriously scared for his safety after performing in some of the deeper red states, but Charlie acted like it wasn't a huge concern.

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• Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers have a new website.

• Tim Donaghey might bring down the NBA.

• Hulk Hogan cried on Larry King.

• Beware "gas rage."

• Scarlett Johansson emails with Barrack Obama.

• Michael Vick will face more charges when he gets out of jail.