LAUGHING GASS
The Howard Stern Show for July 21, 2009

Howard speculated that Robin must have made a huge deal out of the recent incident when a paparazzo tried photographed her in a coming out of the ocean wearing a bikini: "I'm telling you, that must have been a scene and a half." Robin admitted she did discuss it with friends afterward: "I was like, 'That was Michael Jackson's whole life!'" Robin added that people could take her picture whenever they want, but it was the creeper's status as a paparazzo that annoyed her.

Howard laughed at reports of JD's workout routine, so JD came in to detail them in full: He runs up and down his apartment building's stairs three times and then does 2 sets of 10 push-ups and 2 sets of 25 sit-ups. Robin laughed: "You exercise like a prisoner." JD replied: "I don't feel totally comfortable working out in a gym...I don't know what I'm fully doing. I would like, like, a trainer."

Robin gave Howard a few of her old 36DD bras and Howard began to brainstorm ways to put them to work.

HowardTV producer, Richie Wilson, brought in a few items - including a couple bags of gumballs, a few pounds of potatoes and some 5lb watermelons - to test the weight and size limits: "You could fit Jupiter in this thing."

After some initial attempts, the crew decided they needed to construct a proper contraption to control the experiments.

Benjy confirmed that Beaver's techniques did work, as he has used them himself, and told guys to use their best picture, because once you meet a girl in person, your personality can carry the difference. Howard asked if Beaver had ever fallen in love with any of the girls he’s hooked up with, but Beaver denied it: "I'm so busy having fun, it's the farthest thing from my mind."

Howard tried to get Beaver to help JD, but JD quickly turned the opportunity down: "I have some [women online] that are interested in me, but they're not local. I have something planned for Friday with someone." JD later admitted he's only gotten laid once with a girl he'd met on the Internet: "Now she has a boyfriend [but it’s not JD]."

Howard got author Beaver Phillips on the line to discuss his book, “Copy, Paste & Bang!” Beaver gave the crew the secret to banging chicks they meet on the Internet: go to either PlentyofFish or Match and look for women with profiles with "flirting" or "very liberal" in their Interests section. He then tries to get them on the phone and, as soon as you do, talk about sex: "I don't trick women in any shape or form. No deceit...don't lie. Be honest."

Beaver said he almost had a script for these phone conversations, first telling them to "Tell me about your last date," and, if she doesn't hint at it ending with sex, he ribs her for messing it up. Then he asks point-blank: "Tell me about your sex life." Additionally, Beaver recommended that you don't contact women looking for "intimate encounters" in their profile's “Looking For” section, as it can auto-block you from other daters.

Andrew, one of the show's interns, called in to repeat his claim (originally detailed on The Intern Show) that Sal had left an un-flushed “full bowl” in one of the Sirius bathroom stalls: "It was definitely him...I saw him leave." Sal had previously denied the story, but Howard sided with Andrew: "It sounds like Andrew saw what he saw."

Craig Gass stopped by to promote his upcoming comedy shows and told the crew about a "secret meeting" he recently had a major movie studio. His assignment was to do the "looping" - dubbed over dialogue for clean movie edits – so, for instance, instead of Nicholas Cage saying, "That's bullshit!" you hear Craig's impression of Nick saying, "That's hockeypuck!" Craig said it was a great gig, but the only condition was that he can't reveal which celebrities' voices he overdubs.

Craig told a story about doing the Richard Belzer roast and meeting Christopher Walken on the dais. Belzer forced him to do his Walken impression for Walken, but Walken was unimpressed: "Wow." Belzer than forced him to do his Tom Arnold and Adam Sandler impressions: "Walken cuts me off and goes, 'Wait a second. I get it. You're talented,' and goes back to eating his food."

Craig recounted the time he saw Norm MacDonald tell the greatest Michael Jackson joke ever: "A guy in the upper deck of the upper balcony yells out, 'Michael Jackson!' during a pregnant pause and everyone goes, 'Oooh,' and then Norm goes, 'Hey you know the only thing Michael Jackson is guilty of is being the greatest entertainer that ever lived.' And the audience started applauding and he goes, 'Well, that and f’ing those kids.'"

Yucko the Clown called in to yell at Craig for telling stories about his ex-wife on-stage at a Killers of Comedy show - and Artie actually took Yucko's side: "It's outta line." Craig admitted he and the Rev. Bob Levy shouldn't have done the bit and laughed that a much funnier thing happened after the show when Yucko was outside sulking while the Rev. Bob Levy remained indignant, saying: "F’ him! I made him!"

Shuli reported that Richard was still drinking a lot and polished off four bottles of champagne on Friday. There was even a photo of Richard looking passed out from the evening. Richard then came in claim he only drank two bottles: "In five minutes, I can drink a bottle...the thing is I don't even get shit-faced. I look like I'm shit-faced, but champagne? I just get a little buzzed." Richard also said he wasn't passed out in the picture: "I was tired. We went to go see Bruno."

Don Cornelius' dying wish is to get a divorce.

'The Hangover' is the highest-grossing R-rated comedy ever.

Chris Brown has apologized for beating up Rihanna.

A bidding war has erupted over that final Michael Jackson rehearsal footage.

Steve McNair's blood alcohol limit was twice the legal limit when he was murdered.

Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson because she wanted to get married.

Contraception magazine says the withdrawal method works just as well as condoms.

Michael Vick is out on probation.