FOREIGNER PERFORMS
The Howard Stern Show for November 10, 2009

Howard got Meg Griffin on the line to review Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon's recent performance of “Waiting for the D Train” on the Jimmy Fallon show and asked for a straight answer: "Do you like that?" Meg was honest, saying it was noteworthy only because Yoko and Sean were the performers: "No...something like that, I might play for people for the same purpose that you just played it for me." Meg added that Howard might actually get along with Yoko, as they both love John Lennon, but Howard dismissed the idea – along with the notion of Yoko's talent.

A woman named Shannon called in to promote “Camel-flage,” a product she'd invented to prevent women from walking around with visible cameltoe. Howard said he also had Shannon's competition, Treger (the brains behind “Camel-ammo”) on line, and Treger immediately went on the attack: "She's not actually trademarked. She's lying about it...you might have applied for your trademark, but you don't have your trademark."

Shannon countered that she'd actually patented a specific product: "I have a patent for an insert sewn into the actual panties." Treger snapped: "You don't have a patent. We have a patent." Howard thought it was possible both women came up with the same idea, but Traeger disagreed: "With the same name?" Treger said she invented the product in February '08 and, afterward, Shannon admitted she came up with in April '08: "I came up with this idea in yoga last year."

Treger felt Shannon's testimony was proof: "You're a plagiarizer and a fraud." Shannon said the coincidence was innocent: "This negativity is just gonna put you in the hole. I'm a good person." Treger refused to believe in any accident: "How do you sleep at night?"

Robin couldn't figure out why Treger was so angry: "Is this such a big problem?" Later, Gary came in tell the crew that Treger was calling from a cafe downstairs, so Howard invited her up. Treger arrived shortly thereafter and demonstrated the product. Jeff the Drunk then called in to sum things up: “I speak for all Americans when I say you should both go f’ yourselves.”

Howard got Daniel Carver of the Ku Klux Klan on the line to discuss his son's recent arrest for drug trafficking. Asked if he hoped there were no black people on the jury, Daniel replied: "I don't know if it makes a lot of difference...in this country, you're better off being called a child molester than a racist." Daniel said he'd been convicted for making "terroristic threats" by an all-white jury himself: "I'm a convicted terrorist."

Daniel explained the charges against his son: "They said they found a small amount of meth in his house...I always thought meth was a [n-word] drug." Daniel had no problem with any of the other charges: "The meth part of it was what I consider a black crime." Robin noted that meth users are predominantly white, but Daniel insisted there was more going on than the numbers show: "Usually white guys get it from [n-words]."

Daniel told the crew that the court had assigned a black investigator to help his son's defense, and he's so far taken a liking to her. Artie laughed: "As a Southerner you must be so excited a black guy's working for you for free again." Daniel later reported that he couldn't afford to pay for his son's defense himself because he'd invested all his money (including the $25,000 he'd won in the show's football pool) in Sirius stock when shares cost $7: "Now it's worth a nickel." (or about $180.00).

The guys from Foreigner stopped by to promote their new album, “Can't Slow Down.” Howard asked when they'd finally parted with their old lead singer, Lou Gramm, so Mick Jones said Lou left after he woke from surgery (to remove a brain tumor) and announced he only wanted to write/perform Christian music. Which everyone thought was an unusual reason for bands to break up as it’s usually money, drugs or women at the root of all breakups.

Mick said the band fell apart repeatedly before they found a line-up that worked: "We had to improve on each album and that took its toll, you know?" Howard wondered how Mick retained the Foreigner name, and Mick explained that Lou blew it: "He set the precedent by leaving the band about 3 times." The band then treated the crew to an acoustic performance of their very first hit, “Feels Like the First Time.”

Howard asked if the original Foreigner line-up would ever reunite, and Mick shrugged: "Lou has sort of approached me about putting the original band back together but we've come so far with this – with this band...I've never been with guys that really click like this...certainly if we ever have a slight chance of getting into the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame."

Mick told the crew about hanging with the Beatles at a restaurant in Paris. The Fab Four was serviced by some very attractive fans mid-meal: "The next thing I know the table's moving." Mick said he was with his girlfriend and trying to distract her, but things took an obvious turn when the Beatles all dived below deck to return the favor.

Mick didn't say much when asked about his daughter, Samantha Ronson, dating Lindsay Lohan: "The relationship became very toxic." Mick also dodged a question about Mariah Carey covering one of his songs: "I have to say she is a great singer. She's very gifted." Mick had more to say about the time he spent producing “5150” for Van Halen: "I thought we argued, but when I saw them argue it was a different kind of level...these fights always took place after their father came up to visit them."

Don’t mess with the girls on the University New Mexico soccer team.

Katt Williams is in jail.

Scientists can now grow fully-functional artificial penises.

A Seattle man named Nicholas Francisco abandoned his life (and family) and began anew under a different name.

The Ft. Hood shooter had tried to contact Al Qaeda.

Peter, Paul & Mary singer Mary Travers is dead.

Carrie Prejean is talking about her sex-tape.

The guy who tried to extort Letterman is due in court today.

The Kansas City Chiefs have released Larry Johnson.

“Pirate Radio” is coming to theaters.

John Cusack is starring in “2012.”