THE WORLD’S STRONGEST NAKED WOMAN
The Howard Stern Show for September 10, 2009

Howard started off the show complaining about the ineffectiveness of the all natural, aluminum free deodorant Robin had recommended a few weeks ago: "Maybe it works for other people but boy oh boy, it didn't work for me. I was miserable." Howard went on to admit that he momentarily considered going back to his old aluminum-filled brand – despite the threat of Alzheimer's. Howard instead discovered Nature's Gate deodorant: "This deodorant changed my life...I'm happy as a clam."

Howard then told everyone that Howard100/101 program director Tim Sabean was a "pusher" who – just last night – relayed an unconfirmed rumor that Matt Damon was dead: "He pushes through his email to my email without researching anything." Howard laughed that Beth was able to disprove the rumor with a cursory Google search.

Howard welcomed Anju, Sarah and Jade – the contestants for The World's Strongest Naked Woman contest – and celebrated their lack of attire: "Whoa! You're hot! And naked!"

Sarah told Howard that both she and Anju had also been contestant's on Vh1's “My Antonio,” but weren't able to get along because Anju was "too ghetto." Anju bristled: "You don't know Howard. She wants to see ghetto? I'll show you ghetto, bitch." Sarah just kept giggling.

Howard asked the third contestant, Jade, to stand between the other two and pick a side. Jade pointed to Anju: "At least she makes a point. Sarah just giggled." Anju said she worked as a dominatrix, laughing that a lawyer once paid her to watch him shove kosher hotdogs up his ass. Jade said she also used to work as a dominatrix, until a client became obsessed with her, shot and killed her boyfriend, kidnapped her, and ended up killing himself. Howard asked how she survived the ordeal, and Jade shrugged: "I just said, 'Do it. I don't care.'"

Howard was impressed with Jade, noting that she was pursuing her Ph.D in engineering at the University of Pennsylvania – until she quit to work in the adult industry: "You're a brilliant girl, aren't you? Jade replied: "Yes but I have other interests." Howard then had the girls do push-ups to test their strength.

Anju did 3 and Jade did 10. Sarah couldn't do any. In the next round, Jade and Anju were both able to do two pull-up while Sarah came up empty again.

Howard then announced that Jade Vixen was now the World’s Strongest Naked Woman.

Sandra Bernhard stopped by to promote her new album, “Whatever It Takes,” and complained about “Jon & Kate Plus 8” star Kate Gosselin: "She's getting more work than me. And getting paid! It's a celebration of mediocrity." Howard asked if Sandra was competitive with other female comedians, and Sandra confirmed it: "Would I say I'm irked and irritated by some of the success of others of them? Yeah."

Howard wondered what Sandra thought of yesterday's guest, Kathy Griffin, and Sandra had a lot to say: "She's come to see me many times and she's taken my basic premise, which is to disseminate pop culture...she came and took the basic elements of what I did...[and repeats them] like a shrieking freak." Sandra went on to say that Kathy's Bravo specials were repetitious: "Every goddamn time...if you're gonna have that kind of success, be intelligent. But if she was, she'd be me and wouldn't have that kind of success."

Sandra told crew about being offered the role of “Miranda” on “Sex and the City': "When I was offered the role, they were paying everyone $7500 a week. The script – the original script? Was horrible." Sandra added: "I'm gonna play third/fourth fiddle to Sarah Jessica Parker and put up with her shit? It would be hideous to work with her. Ask any of the women that were on that show."

Sandra also revealed that she had a threesome with her longtime girlfriend and Ralph Cirella this past July: "Ralph is a grown man. He's a dog...he joined in...one time. In the summer. He brought up a nice bottle of champagne. He was a gentleman. I'm telling you, Ralph really keeps things on the DL. Ralph runs deep." Sandra went on to say Ralph had "one of the biggest" penises and kicked things off by giving her oral sex. After she orgasmed, there was "a triangulation" in which Ralph entered Sandra's girlfriend – but not Sandra: "I was kind of tired after he finished me off."

The new iPods are in stores now.

NASA has released new pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope.

Kathy Griffin's book signing was a zoo.

Viggo Mortensen is giving up acting.

Nicole Ritchie had another baby.

Janet Jackson will perform a tribute to her brother at this Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards.

Derek Jeter has tied Lou Gehrig's all-time Yankees hit record.

Doritos wants to pay you $5 million to make their Superbowl commercial.

Bruce Springsteen is a Kennedy Center honoree.