HISTORY IN THE MAKING
The Howard Stern Show for February 3, 2006

Jon Hein kicked off the debut of “The Friday Show” explaining what it will be. Jon said that the show will not only give a behind-the-scenes look at what went on during the previous week’s broadcasts, but will also feature clips Howard didn’t have the chance to play, as well as classic bits from as far back as Howard’s NBC and Channel 9 years. Jon thought the show would give fans the things they want to hear most. Gary then pointed out that the new program will be better than the old “Best of” shows for several reasons, including the fact that it’s live, and that it will provide a unique look at how the Howard Stern Show is put together.

Gary commented that yesterday was a wild one in the SIRIUS offices, which he said proves that anything can happen on air. Gary mentioned that while Danny Bonaduce was interviewing Alexis Stewart, and Jay Thomas was talking to Richard Simmons, people like Dee Snider, Jon Waters and Mike Piazza (the former NY Met, not the Howard 100 News reporter) were in the halls. Gary added that, after he gave Mike a tour of the studio, he noticed he was talking to Richard Christy. As it turned out, Gary said that Mike is such a metal head that he not only knew of Richard’s work with the band Iced Earth, but that Mike thought Richard does “the best foot work of anyone in rock and roll.” Richard responded that it was “surreal” getting the compliment from Mike and that he couldn’t believe he had heard of him.

After playing the infamous uncensored Pat O’Brien clip, which Ralph insisted is the best tape in the history of radio, Jon brought up Jenna Jameson’s appearance earlier in the week. Gary explained that every Thursday there is a full staff meeting where they kick around guest and bit ideas. Gary recalled that, a few weeks ago, he pitched having Jenna on as a guest, even though she hadn’t been very forthcoming during her final appearances at KROCK. Gary added, though, that because they’re in a new radio universe that’s free of censorship, he figured even old guests like Jenna will seem brand-new because of all the topics they can now cover. Jon then played the clip of Jenna telling her story hooking up with Jenny McCarthy, which got into graphic detail. After the clip, Ralph commented that Jenny went up three points on his scale when he found out about her incident with Jenna, while Gary noted that Jenna never could’ve told that story on terrestrial radio.

Twenty minutes into the show, Howard called in. Howard said that Gary’s memory amazes him and that he likes hearing about what goes on outside of the studio during and after the show. Howard then asked Gary if he knew what Dee Snider was doing in the SIRIUS building yesterday, which Gary didn’t. Howard went on to say that he and Dee used to be friends, but that their relationship soured when Dee got his own morning show in Hartford, Conn., which was one of Howard’s old markets. Howard mentioned that Dee asked him if he should take the gig before he accepted the offer and that he told Dee he should, noting that he would never keep someone from working.

However, Howard admitted that his opinion about Dee changed shortly thereafter because he and Dee were then in direct competition with one another. Howard added that he still liked Dee a great deal, but that he also wasn’t going to encourage people to listen to Dee’s show over his own. Howard went on to say that one of the best aspects of SIRIUS is that he can now work with hosts like Bubba the Love Sponge instead of going against them.

Howard noted that, about a year ago, Dee’s wife, Suzette, called him to try to patch up their relationship. Although Howard acknowledged now that he should’ve gotten together with Dee and Suzette, he commented that he decided not to when she contacted him. Ralph responded that Howard must have felt bummed out because of Dee’s decision to take a show that ran at the same time as his, especially given their friendship. Howard agreed with Ralph’s assessment, but insisted that he’s no longer upset and would like to have Dee back on the show. Howard also admitted that there’s a chance his opinion about the situation was wrong, which is another reason he’d like to have a discussion with Dee on the air.

When Howard pointed out that people said he overreacted to Dee’s radio job, Gary noted that ratings are so unpredictable in the radio industry that Howard had a right to be worried. Gary then recalled that when they were at NBC, Don Imus had a .01 rating, but that Howard wasn’t satisfied that Imus had any listeners at all. Gary added that Imus’ ratings ended up improving a bit in the years that followed and that Howard was correct in being unhappy that he didn’t completely destroy him when he had the chance.

Robin called in and reported that she thought it was disrespectful for Dee to have started a show that was a rip-off of Howard’s program. However, Gary mentioned that, during Dee’s first broadcast in Hartford, he said that he’d never be able to be Howard, while Howard recalled that, years after Dee’s show was taken off the air, Dee offered him half his salary as a way of showing his thanks – an offer Howard didn’t take. Despite this, Robin noted that she would’ve told Dee from the start that it was okay for him to have a show, but that she would’ve also let him know that he was now her enemy. Howard replied that Robin was probably correct, but that he didn’t take that action with Dee because of their friendship. Howard went on to say that, no matter how big he is in radio, he’ll always feel like he has something to prove, and that he’ll never believe he’s as talented as other people think he is.

Another element about the story that bothered Howard was that Hartford in particular holds a special place in his heart, because it was the first city that he started to get ratings in and was where he met Fred. Howard added that, although deep down he still wanted to be friends with Dee when he had his radio show, he couldn’t do it because they were going against each other in the ratings. However, Howard asked Gary to try to book Dee on the show for next week so they can work out their dispute and put it behind them.

Gary announced that Elegant Elliott Offen will be in the studio on Monday to talk about his latest controversy. Howard pointed out that he doesn’t know what happened with the accident, but that he’s glad Elliott is coming in to defend himself. Howard then reported that he’s trying to reinvent how radio is done and “The Friday Show” is one example of how he’s doing that. Howard added that he thinks the show will only improve as the weeks go on and that listeners will come to appreciate having new programming on the air.

Gary brought up that Sal almost got into some serious trouble yesterday because of a prank call he made. Gary said that Tim Sabean and another SIRIUS exec came into his office yesterday afternoon, explaining that a call Sal placed to Richard Simmons while he was on Jay Thomas’ show upset him so much that Richard threatened to end his relationship with SIRIUS. Howard responded that it seemed as though Richard may have been over reacting and that getting a prank call shouldn’t have affected him like that. However, Gary reported that Sal was so nervous about the ordeal that he was actually concerned that he’d be let go over it.

Jon played the clip of Sal’s call, where he pretended to be “David,” a man who claimed to have lost 275 pounds because of Richard. When Richard asked “David” how he went about dropping the weight, he replied it was because he had “cravings for sausage and the milky sauces.” As he heard that, Richard got angry at the prank call and, while Jay assured him that he didn’t set up the call, he also admitted that he thought it was funny. Richard then launched into a tirade about how the subject wasn’t a laughing matter. Since Richard remained on the air with Jay, Gary wondered if he even really got upset with Sal’s call. Richard Christy replied that what set off Richard Simmons was that he received another prank call later on during his interview and that was when he stormed out of the studio.

Jon took a call from Graham Bensinger, a 19-year-old sports writer who’s been in the business since he was in eighth grade. Gary noted that Graham is best known for his O.J. Simpson interviews, as well as some of the talks he’s had with Terrell Owens. Graham explained that he met Terrell at a celebrity basketball game and that the two established a relationship after that. Graham went on to say that his most embarrassing moment occurred when he was in eighth grade and asked Mike Schmidt what it was like being Mike Schmidt. Graham then said that Mike’s response to the question was, “That may be the dumbest f*cking question I’ve heard in my entire life.” Before he got off the line, Graham commented that he thinks the Steelers will win the Super Bowl this weekend, while refusing to answer whether or not he believes O.J. was guilty.

Before heading into a short break, Gary mentioned that he wanted to hear the rest of the Jenna Jameson clip, including when she got on the Sybian (not Simian or Sabean, as some have been calling it). Gary recalled that he didn’t think Jenna would ever agree to get on the machine because it was too wild, but that when she did, it was amazing. Jon then pointed out that some fans complained because Howard was talking over Jenna’s reaction to the Sybian, but Gary said such commentary is necessary in order to paint a picture for the audience. Jon proceeded to play the tape of Jenna on the Sybian, which brought her to a quick orgasm.

Jon announced that he was set to play a classic clip from an NBC broadcast that aired in the mid-1980s, featuring Howard as Mama Looka Boo Boo Day, a character Gary described as an angry African American traffic reporter. Before the tape was played, Ralph mentioned that he had just started listening to the show during this time frame and he has vivid memories of hearing Mama Looka Boo Boo Day. Gary then added that what he enjoyed most about the character was that none of the impressions were scripted, so it was great how Howard and Robin fed off each other.

Following the clip, where Mama Looka Boo Boo Day proposed to create an all-black state called “Neblacksa,” Ralph commented that Howard made something as simple as traffic reports, which he actually was forced to do at the time, into something funny. Gary then reported that fans are itching to hear more bits like that, as well as new games involving strippers and homeless people on the regular show, and that those plans are all in the works.

Jon played a clip of reporters from The Howard 100 News interviewing Jackie Martling. During the conversation, Jackie acknowledged that he still loves everyone on the show, but that he couldn’t answer whether or not he’ll ever be back on it. Jackie went on explain that he can’t make comments about returning, because The New York Post will instantly have a story about claiming that he’s begging for his old job. Jackie did admit, though, that he “wouldn’t be adverse” to getting involved with the program again, before adding that he hasn’t been approached about a possible return.

Ralph responded to the tape that Jackie was over-thinking the possibility of returning and that he was sure The New York Post wouldn’t have written about it had he said what he felt. Gary agreed with Ralph and commented that Jackie should’ve replied that his career is going fine, but that he’d be interested in coming back if he was offered a deal.

When Jon pointed out that he’d love to hear Artie if Jackie was to sit in, Gary noted that Artie has been unfairly labeled as Jackie’s replacement. Gary went on to explain that, for a year, he was responsible for finding people to sit in for Jackie, but that none of the guests – including Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carola and Dave Chappelle – was as good as Artie was. Gary also noted that Jackie felt threatened before he left the show when Benjy, who was a new writer at the time, was allowed to sit in the studio during the broadcasts. Further, Gary added that Jackie was so “territorial” that he had it written into his contract that he was the show’s head writer, even though, at the time the contract was made, he and Fred were the only two writers on the program.

Howard called back into the show to ask another caller, Jessica Hahn, if she’d be willing to come into the studio and try out the Sybian. Jessica replied that she’s gotten chills just thinking about trying out the Sybian and that she’d think about the offer because she wants to experience it firsthand. Howard then pointed out that, although Jessica didn’t say yes to his request, she didn’t say no, either, so there was a chance she could be swayed into it – so Gary said he’d book her for an appearance sometime soon.

Jon brought up that George Takei went through “an interesting evolution” of prank calls during the week he sat in as the show’s announcer. To illustrate his point, Jon played a clip of “Arnold Schwarzenegger” calling into the show. As background to the call, Jon noted that George had expressed anger at the governor for not signing into law a same-sex marriage bill, thus going back on a promise he had made during his campaign.

In the clip, “Arnold” told George that certain nationalities were terrible drivers, that he didn’t sign the same-sex marriage bill because he didn’t have a working pen, and that he didn’t “give a sh*t” that George had once been in a Japanese concentration camp. As if that wasn’t enough, “Arnold” also informed George he’d be willing to sign the same-sex marriage bill into law if George promised to give him a “reach around.” Despite the obvious signs that the caller wasn’t actually Arnold, George bought every line.

Gary recalled that, as funny as the bit was, he wrote a note to Howard shortly after it was over suggesting that he tell George he’d been duped. Gary then noted that George was not only a good sport when it came to the joke, but that he had the same reaction when he fell for it again the very next day, when Howard told him the real Arnold was on the line to apologize for the prank call.

This led Gary to again bring up the staff meeting they have every Thursday. Gary explained that everyone – from Howard all the way down to the interns – is invited to the meeting and that ideas are brought up and discussed. Gary added that it was at the Thursday meeting the week George was in when they came up with the idea to have Evil David Letterman call in on Friday to see if they could fool George for a third straight day.

Jon then played a clip from the meeting, where Ralph was the one who recommended they get another impressionist to call in. After Artie came up with the idea to have the caller be Evil Dave, Ralph said that Evil Dave should pretend he wanted George to be the announcer on that night’s episode of “Late Show.” Howard responded that he liked the idea, and that he’d even act like he was jealous that George was getting another announcing job just to sell it better. When Artie next recommended that Evil Dave propose that George read The Top 10 List that night, Richard suggested the topic of the list be “The Top 10 Reasons William Shatner is a Jerk” and that the Number 1 item on the list should be that he had been duped again.

After the tape where George not only read the made-up Top 10 List but also fell for Evil Dave’s impersonation, Ralph commented that no one “rolls with the show” like George does. Gary added that he is working on getting George back on the show, but that he wants his appearances to be spaced out so that they remain special.

Howard called in for the third time, mentioning that he liked hearing the tape of the Thursday meeting and that such segments are the genesis of “The Friday Show.” Since Howard was on the line, a caller asked him if he still plans on devoting programs to the work Fred does. Howard responded that there are several programs – both on SIRIUS and on Howard TV – that are being discussed for Fred, including a live Howard TV feed that showcases Fred’s amazing talents with sound effects during the show. The caller then wondered if Howard thought Jackie and Artie could coexist if the opportunity ever presented itself. Howard commented that Artie is not a confrontational person and that he was sure Artie would be respectful of Jackie, while also being funny. However, Howard also noted that he didn’t think it would be easy to get Jackie to come back, but that if Tim Sabean could work it out, he’d like for it to happen.

A regular segment on “The Friday Show” will be “Richard and Sal’s Rejected Bits,” which made its premier this morning. While Richard estimated that close to 40 percent of the pieces he and Sal submit to Howard get turned down, Sal argued that the total was higher, adding that Howard doesn’t like bits that have too much cursing. As an example of a bit that Sal claimed got rejected for foul language, Jon played a clip of “The Jack and Rod Show,” with special guests Evil David Letterman and Paul Schaffer, who was played by Steve the Engineer from KROCK (who’s better known as Wood-Yi).

Following the clip, in which Evil Dave and “Paul” asked a germ expert outrageous sexual questions that involved germs, Sal commented that the two-minute piece was once 22 minutes long, and that the tape was edited five times to try to get Howard’s approval. Although Ralph and Jon both said they enjoyed the clip, Robin called in and announced that it wasn’t funny. Robin then explained that since the germ expert wasn’t outraged by what Evil Dave and “Paul” were saying, the bit went nowhere. In fact, Robin offered up the same criticism after Jon played another rejected bit, this one featuring Blue Iris ordering food using sexual names and the person on the other end misinterpreting what she was saying for actual food items.

When Robin mentioned that one of her favorite pranks of all time was the “my turban is dirty” call, Richard noted that they have other calls that he thinks are funny, but they can’t air them because they can’t get permission from the necessary parties to broadcast them. Jon then reintroduced a former part of the show, “Caller of the Week.” To no one’s surprise, this week’s winner was Paco, who had called in and claimed he was going to get back at the people on Shade 45 for badmouthing Howard by “hurting their feelings,” before going on to berate other callers that ask Howard bad questions. Although Robin enjoyed Paco, she admitted that she now thinks his accent was a put-on, while Gary commented that it sounded like every white guy’s impression of a Mexican.