ROSIE REVEALED
The Howard Stern Show for October 26, 2009

Howard learned from an email JD sent to the crew, that Medicated Pete had a big night at Rick's last Thursday – thanks to Ronnie the Limo Driver – and expressed concern, as Pete is an intern. A 34-yr old intern, but still an intern, and bringing an intern to a strip club is frowned upon. Ronnie came in to explain: "I didn't bring Pete there...I did bring him on stage...I didn't get him drunk." Ronnie added that he and Jared Fox eventually put Pete in a cab at a quarter to 12, so he could catch the last train to Jersey at 1:45AM.

Robin laughed: "Who knew Ronnie would get in trouble for hanging with a male intern? Howard explained: "Ronnie's the gay Letterman." Ronnie said Pete had a pretty good – and totally heterosexual – time: "The first lapdance he got, I thought he was gonna explode." Pete came in to confirm the story: "I had a few."

When Ronnie refused to reveal who had told him about the email JD sent that outted him, JD speculated that it may have been Jared Fox. Gary added that Ronnie and Jared have gotten quite close lately, Ronnie even puts a few of the black and white cookies Crumbs delivers ever Wednesday on Jared's desk so that he doesn’t miss out on them. Ronnie shrugged: "I do the guy a favor and put a couple cookies on his desk. What's the big deal?"

Howard was puzzled: "Who the f’ knew Ronnie delivered pastries?" Ronnie insisted the favor was innocent, but Howard could care less: "Go get Jared a cookie."

Rosie O'Donnell stopped by to talk about her new Sirius XM radio show – on Channel 102 – and revealed that, like Artie, she had was disturbed by outliving a parent: "My mother died when she was 39 and that was a big reason why I left my [TV] show [when she was 39]." Rosie said most people who lose a parent early in life believe – like Artie – they wouldn't surpass the same age.

Rosie launched into an amazingly revealing confessional account of her childhood, best summarized by this quote: "There were other issues with my dad, which is needless to say." Howard asked if Rosie was careful not to let her kids into her sadness, but Rosie said the opposite was true: "I tell them everything...I'm funny, so that helps." Rosie cited George Takei as a fellow funny-person: "Artie, you better not get sick anymore because that guy's f’ing funny."

Howard asked Rosie if she planned to start dating famous lesbians now that she's most likely going to be single, but Rosie blew it off: "I don't even think of dating to tell you the truth. With some heavy-hitter lesbo?" Howard listed Lindsay Lohan as a potential candidate, so Rosie explained her “anti-fame” dating rule: "Way too young...you're not allowed to be famous if I date you." Rosie also claimed she'd never be interested in stealing Portia de Rossi from Ellen Degeneres: "I have an anti-fame rule!"

Rosie told Artie she wanted to talk with his mom and sister: "I want to talk to them about how it is to love you." Artie laughed: "I don't think they know!" Rosie also said she once had a crush on Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling's ex-wife, Nancy: "I tried very hard to be friendly with her. I had a huge crush on Nancy." Rosie also revealed she once turned down a dinner invitation from Angelina Jolie: "First of all I was not single...also I was a little afraid of her. She's a little scary."

Howard eulogized the late Soupy Sales, saying Soupy had been an early inspiration: "Soupy would have conversations that I wasn't even sure should be on camera and I started thinking." Howard added that Soupy's perspective translated to even the most exclusive circles: "Even Frank Sinatra would come on and get a pie thrown in his face."

Howard asked Robin why she was out until 5am the other night, and Robin – at first – tried to claim she'd only had a late meal: "I just went to dinner." Under questioning, Robin later admitted she went to a bar where Jared Fox works: "He wasn't even there! The next thing I know we were at a pizza place and it was 5 in the morning." Robin's only recollection of her time at the bar: "We were screaming Michael Jackson lyrics and jumping around."

Robin reported that she (and her companion, Melissa “Mrs. Ross” Zapin) were drinking heavily: "I think 6 shots and 2 cosmos...after a bottle of wine." Ross came in to complain ("I'm so pissed off!"), saying he'd stayed in, as he was tired from going to Sam Benrubi’s going away party the night before, and only texted his wife when she wasn't home by 3am: "Radio silence! Radio silence, Robin!" Ross added that while he wasn't happy with his wife's late hours, he was happy with the results: "We had great sex that night."

The Yankees are headed to the World Series.

Janine Lindemulder is out of jail.

Steve Phillips is a hot potato.

A Chicago nightclub banned black people.

“Paranormal Activity” is number one at the box office.