LETTERMAN'S APOLOGY IS A HIT
Jon Hein started off the show with an announcement about Letterman's ratings on Monday night: "Letterman beat all of NBC's line-up...it's the best ratings he's had since he had Obama on." Robin joked: "Does this make his wife a little more understanding? He was [having affairs] for work." Howard replied: "Of course...I kind of get it. The guy's not the president."
Howard cited Steve Martin's take: "This actually kind of makes Letterman a little more human and charming." Robin agreed: "You were wondering about the female audience – I think this is a tune-in factor for women...I'm interested in him in a way I never was before." Howard hoped the tides had really turned in Letterman's favor.
BASEBALL WITH TED WILLIAMS' HEAD
Howard got Larry Johnson, a former executive at the Alcor Life Extension Corporation, on the line to talk about his book, “Frozen,” which accuses Alcor employees of mistreating baseball great Ted Williams' cryogenically frozen head. Howard was confused by Larry's written description of Ted's head-mount, so Larry explained that a stand is needed for each head: "They put a tuna can at the bottom of each canister and then they put the head [upside down] on top of the tuna can."
Asked about the alleged "baseball" incident, Larry explained that technicians once repeatedly swung a large wrench at Ted's head-mount/tuna can in their effort to remove/un-stick it from the top of the scalp. Larry also revealed that Williams whole body was originally supposed to be cryogenically frozen, but due to clerical error, his head was removed from his body – with a hammer and chisel.
BAI LING ISN’T REALLY CRAZY
Bai Ling stopped by to promote her new film, “A Beautiful Life,” wearing an outfit she described as an homage to Howard, while Robin called it, "the weirdest she's ever been [dressed]."
Howard said Bai Ling always went for an interesting Lady Gaga-esque look, but Bai disagreed: "She's learning from me." Bai then told the crew she got her start in Asia (where she was first a soldier in the Chinese army) and is now an "international star." Howard asked about Bai's infamously large nipples, but Bai wouldn't really answer: "You seen me nipple magazines."
Bai revealed she was once hospitalized with mental issues: "I've been to many hospitals...I said, 'Nurse, you cannot stand. I am an actress.'" Howard asked who committed her, and Bai confessed: "I think partially it's myself...I was kind of depressed. I'm not sure. I was kind of-a lost." Uninterested, Howard pushed for Bai to start removing a few of the layers she'd worn into the studio – Bai happily stripped (some of) them away.
DON'T HIDE THE NIPPLES, HOWARD
Bai claimed she stayed in shape by dancing, so Howard asked her to demonstrate – Bai obliged to the tune of the Black Eyed Peas' “Boom Boom Pow,” yelling: "Woo! I'm having fun in your studio!
You should all join me! Dance!" When she was done, Howard asked about her relationship with Lionel Richie, but Bai dodged the question: "I'm still like breathing from my dancing. We're friends. I respect him as an artist."
Bai went on to say she was the best actress in the world: "Yes I am. I'm one of them." She cited Johnny Depp as one of her contemporaries at the top: "He does it for his own love for the craft of art." Bai then asked to see a picture of Beth – and thought she was hot – but was unimpressed with Beth's outfit: "I don't see her nipples. What's wrong? Where are nipples? Where you hide them?" Howard promised to show Bai a picture of Beth's nipples later.
