Jon Heins TV Spoiler Rules To Live By

Jon Hein's TV Spoiler Rules To Live By

by Jon Hein

I take my spoilers very seriously. There are two types - spoiling with excitement (SPE) and spoiling with intent (SPI)

When it's SPE, you just can't help yourself. This is forgivable since it's a byproduct of television viewing exuberance. SPI, however, is just plain obnoxious. The classic "I know something you don't know" maneuver.

I've been guilty of doing both in the past, so I wanted to lay down my spoiler rules to make sure we're all on the same page.


Rule - 5 days

Whether it's The Walking Dead or Modern Family, Homeland or Sons of Anarchy, when an episode is over I am ready to talk about it.

However, I respect that most people don't watch TV as often and as frequently as I do. A five-day grace period provides plenty of time for viewers to catch up.


Rule - 48 hours

A poisonous plant. A flash forward. A bullet in the head. Season finales are potential game changers. EVERYONE wants to talk about a season finale as soon as it's over regardless of how good or bad it was.

Two days is enough time for your pals to catch up on the program. This is important TV. Prioritize, people.


Rule - 24 hours

A snow globe. A cut to black. A jail cell. However a show comes to an end, it's too tempting to hold back any conversation about it. You just can't help yourself. One day gives enough time for anyone to catch up without the episode being spoiled. You're avoiding newspapers and the internet all day anyway. After that...all bets are off.


Rule -

If a series has completed its live episode run, there's no such thing as a spoiler. C'mon, you've had ample time to watch The Wire or Battlestar Galactica. Shame on you for not catching it the first time around.

I'm not saying you should SPI here, but if you do, it's guilt free. It's all in the game.