Howard On The Kiss Heard 'Round The World

For their final goodbye Howard Stern tried to give David Letterman the gift of a kiss.

"I had scratched down on a piece of paper that I was going to kiss him about a week ago and I said, 'That'll be good; people will like that.' But the reality is, I would have to kiss a man!

I thought, 'This could be really funny, but I don't know that I'm capable of putting my lips on another guy.' I'm not trying to be some kind of macho asshole, but I've just really never done it.

The thing that always freaks me out about the thought of it is that I'd feel their stubble on my face. It'll feel so raw."

"I don't know what happened. I just was talking to him and then all of a sudden it seemed like whatever I was doing had to stop and I said, 'Come over here.' Now, I wasn't anticipating going over to the staging area over there and doing it. But I said, 'Get over here,' and he listened [laughs] … like an obedient person.

What's so funny about it is I'm so god damn tall that it looks like I can just manipulate him like a puppet.

He gets nervous because he's very scared about his neck; he has neck problems. So I know he was nervous. And then I say, 'Ok, I'm going to go for this.' There was no turning back."

"And when he resisted, I was determined to kiss him. But he was so wiry and squirming.

He was wriggling around like sometimes if I have to hold my cat to get his nails clipped – I mean, he was a wild cat. I was really trying to flip him around. So I took him from behind and figured I'd stretch my head over his and get him.

"Afterwards I said, 'Thank god he resisted!'"