Psychologists Make the Case for Masturbating at Work

“I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling,” Dr. Cliff Arnall says

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Workplace masturbation is reportedly on the rise and at least two British psychologists seem to think it's a good thing.

"I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling," said psychologist and life coach Dr. Cliff Arnall, according to Britain's Metro Online, which this week published an article exploring the ramifications of a self-satisfying workforce.

Metro also spoke with Mark Sergeant, a senior lecturer in psychology at Nottingham Trent University, who argued a masturbation break could be "very effective at work," thanks in part to its ability to "relieve tension and stress."

Despite all of the pros, the quoted experts allowed for the possibility of some cons. For instance, Dr. Arnall suggested employees should only masturbate at work if they're confident they can orgasm quickly, as a failure to complete could wind up shaking one's confidence and decreasing their overall effectiveness at work.

Either way, workplace masturbation may already be happening in office buildings everywhere ... not just in Stern Show staffer Sal Governale's studio. According to a survey cited in Metro's report, 40 percent of New Yorkers masturbate while on the job.

h/t: Maxim