Proof That Reading Can Ruin Your Sex Life

January 10, 2005

Howard said he’s trying to improve himself this year and one of the ways he’s trying to do that is by reading. Unfortunately, if he isn’t into a book after the first page he gets frustrated and puts it down. He tried reading one of Artie’s favorite books, “The Confederacy of Dunces”, but couldn’t get past the first paragraph. Gary agreed, saying he barely got through a quarter of the book, however, Artie still maintains the book is hilarious.

Howard loved the Alice Sebold book “Lovely Bones” and is now reading her first book, “Lucky”. “Lucky” is the true story of how Alice was brutally raped. Howard said Beth is reading it too and now it’s messing with their sex life. First of all, she’s spending a lot of time reading it on the weekends and that’s when Howard likes to have sex. That’s when he needs it the most, to unwind.

However, this book describes Alice’s rape in so much detail that it scares Beth. Howard said the “Lucky” almost ruined his vacation because Beth was so afraid of what she read; it made her want to go home.

This weekend when Howard wanted to have sex, Beth brought up the book and talked about how “heavy” it was. She was telling him about how Alice couldn’t eat for a while after her rape because she till had the taste of the man in her mouth. Howard said he better buy Beth Penthouse Forum or something to get her back in the right frame of mind.