Howard had a woman named Aiko in the studio. Aiko is a Japanese swimsuit model who was looking to get married so that she can remain in the country.
Given her attractiveness, Howard wondered why Aiko couldn't find a man to help her out on her own.
Aiko explained that she isn't looking for just any guy and that she needs to be in love with him before they tie the knot. She added that the only thing she is really looking for in her future husband is that he is funny.
Despite her claim, Artie figured that it would take more than a sense of humor to get someone who looked like Aiko.
Links to the Stars
Howard brought up that Aiko once dated Kato Kaelin, who he didn't think was very funny. Howard asked Aiko if, when they were together, Kato had his own place, or if he followed Ralph's plan and moved in with Sam Simon. Aiko responded that she was never serious with Kato and that they only went out a few times.
Howard also mentioned that Aiko was with Bill Maher, which he asked her about. Aiko told Howard that when Bill first talked to her, he immediately asked for her opinions on World War II. Aiko claimed that Bill also informed her that he thought men should go out and make the money while women should stay at home.
Howard pointed out that Bill is the kind of guy who likes to impress women with his intelligence and that he probably figured a Japanese girl would want to hear that she could stay home all day.
No Wedding for Wood Yi
Howard revealed to Aiko that he had someone who, not only wanted to marry her, but was also really funny. He then welcomed Wood Yi, who Howard was giving chance to make his pitch to Aiko. When none of Wood Yi's pickup lines seemed to be working, Robin noted that she didn't think there was a match. However, Artie said he felt like Aiko was warming up to Wood Yi's racist and offensive lines.
When Howard asked Aiko what she thought of Wood Yi, she responded that he just wasn't her type of guy. Even though he was rejected yet again, Howard pointed out that he respected the way Wood Yi never raises his voice or gets overly excited while courting women. Robin then mentioned that even though that may be true, Wood Yi never gets the women in the end.
Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours
Ralph Cirella called in and wanted to know what Aiko would be bringing to her future marriage. Ralph explained that if he was going to marry someone who was simply looking to stay in the United States, he'd expect to get paid for his efforts. However, Aiko insisted she wouldn't pay to get married.
Ralph then admitted that, although he wasn't crazy about the idea at first, he thought the farters were doing great. He reported that the only sounds besides the farting that he could hear were people in the studio coughing due to the smell. Ralph added that the farters make for great background sound, so he planned to leave Howard 100 on all day.
Mom Would Flip
Richard Christy came into the studio and asked Aiko if he could see her boobs. Richard noted that, since he might end up being Aiko's future husband, he wanted to see what exactly he would be getting. Despite the fact that she had posed in the buff before, all Aiko would show Richard was her thong. Aiko claimed she didn't want to get too wild because she didn't want to upset her mother, who was sitting in the green room.
Gary commented that, although Aiko's mom doesn't have a strong grasp of the English language, he still felt weird walking by her in the green room when Richard was asking Aiko to take off her clothes.