Not Dressing the Part

Howard had rightwing commentator, Debbie Schlussel, into the studio for her final appearance before he goes to SIRIUS. Before Debbie came in, Howard advised Gary to make her stand at the mic so it'd be easier for him to get her out when he wanted her to leave.

As soon as Debbie entered, Howard commented that her outfit was too conservative for his liking. When Debbie responded that she wanted to wear something for Howard that looked classy, Gary noted that, in her mind, her wardrobe was probably sexy and revealing.

Tone It Down a Notch

Gary asked Howard if he had received the all-capital-letters e-mail he forwarded to him from Debbie. In it, Debbie claimed to have predicted the current Muslim riots in Paris more than three years ago.

Debbie insisted that the only reason she wrote the message in capital letters was to emphasize the importance of its content, but Gary said that all of her e-mails are written that way. Howard told Debbie that if he got the e-mail Gary forwarded him, he tuned it out because he won't read letters written that way.

A Hairy Situation

When Debbie mentioned that she was in town to accept an award last night, Artie wondered if it was for "straightest hair." However, Debbie said it was for the stance she has taken against terrorism. Debbie went on to report that she gave a 20-minute speech at the event, where she talked about all that she has seen during the time she spent undercover, going to mosques in recent years.

Despite the serious topic, a listener called in to ask Debbie if she shaved "down there." Debbie replied that she wouldn't discuss such topics on the air, which led Richard to ask her if she wanted to view something she'd "never seen before," which, of course, referred to his own shaved pubic region. Before Debbie could respond, though, Howard informed Richard that no one wanted to see his area again. Artie then speculated that Debbie had so much hair in her nether region that Al-Qaeda operatives are hiding there.

If Debbie Came Calling

Upon Debbie's exit, Howard asked if anyone would have sex with her. Gary reasoned that because Debbie doesn't seem at all sexual to him, he wouldn't, while Fred said he would if he were properly inebriated. Sal came into the studio and announced that he would be physical with Debbie because he's most attracted to girls with her figure.