JD to Judge
Howard announced that JD Harmeyer, best known for his Tivo mastery, would be one of the judges for this summer's intern beauty pageant. JD spent the entire summer drooling over the interns, so everyone was excited to have him as a judge. Gary said JD thinks all the girls are hot, but thought he might resent them because they have perfect lives. Howard took that to mean each of the contestants would've rejected JD in high school, and he was holding that against them. Gary also mentioned one of the interns asked JD to be her roommate, but he refused due to a lack of money. There was some concern about JD being a judge because he seemed to be in love with one of the contestants, Claudia. Ronnie The Limo Driver, another judge, said that JD would go out of the building with Claudia just to watch her smoke. JD swore his objectivity wouldn't be a problem during the contest, despite what Ronnie felt. Howard brought up that JD never drank until the recent E! wrap party where he was seen drinking for the first time. JD claimed he's getting into drinking slowly. The competition's third judge, Sal the Stockbroker, asked JD what he drank at the shindig, to which JD responded he had a Malibu Bay Breeze. Gary said that not only was that the lamest drink he could've had, but that he nursed it all night. Howard told JD that for the first time in his life hot girls were going to care about what he thought of them. He added that he better enjoy it, because it probably wasn't going to happen again.
Gary said that this was the most anticipated pageant ever, because the girls were so hot and they were barely dressed. Howard then brought them into the studio.
• Kelly was the first girl up, and right away Gary thought she was the one JD resented the most. He reasoned it was because she was hot and probably popular in high school, which admitted to being. Kelly said she and JD sometimes chat online, and that he's never sexual toward her. She mentioned that she met her boyfriend when she was 17 and he was 24, and he waited until she turned 18 before until he had sex with her. She also brought up a dream she had about Howard, in which they were making out. She added that porn is really interesting to her, and that she watches all kinds. Despite his anger toward her, JD said Kelly is hot and scored her a nine.
Ronnie commented that Kelly was every girl you hated in high school because she's a big flirt and a "ct." He still gave her an eight. Sal awarded her a four, saying the low score was for all the guys she rejected in high school. Kelly was not shy about letting Sal know how she felt about that! Diandra was the contestant who had asked JD if wanted to get an apartment with her, even though she was only interested in him as a friend. She said she asked JD to be her roommate in the spur of the moment, so she understood why he didn't take her up on the offer. Ronnie insisted that no guy should've turned down her offer, even if he couldn't afford it. Diandra said she also chats with JD online. She lost her virginity at 19, and has only had sex with one person. All the judges said that besides being hot, Diandra's the nicest girl you'll ever meet. Therefore, Sal and Ronnie gave her nines, while JD gave her a perfect 10.
Ronnie thought Claudia was the one JD was after the most. She said if she won the big prize, she'd buy a digital camera, a sound system for her truck and a really good vibrator. She said she chats with JD online as well, and that she knew he had a thing for Diandra. She lost her virginity at 16. In addition, she made out with a bunch of girls while she was in high school. Although she claimed she isn't bi, she did admit that she would go all the way with Beth O. Claudia mentioned that she isn't sure what her father does for a living. He has told her in the past that he imports fruit, but she thinks there may be something shady going on, especially because everyone her father knows reminds her of a character from "The Sopranos." Sal gave her a seven, while JD went with an eight. Ronnie felt Claudia had the best body out of the group, but that she blows some of her stories out of proportion – which Claudia said she didn't deny. He said she was a nine.
Howard thought that Stacy has body-weight issues because she claims she's fat. However, she only weighs 110 pounds and is 5'6". Stacy lost her virginity when she was 17 on the floor of a hotel room bathroom. She added that she loves rough sex, and that her favorite thing is to be thrown against a wall. JD thought Stacy was too thin, so he gave her an eight. Ronnie awarded her the same score, pointing out she wasn't enthusiastic enough. Sal also gave her an eight. Sal added that she looked like Macauley Culkin with boobs