JEFF THE DRUNK: NOVEMBER 9, 2004

JEFF THE DRUNK: NOVEMBER 9, 2004

DRUNK PORN AUDITION Two girls came down to the studio today to audition for a porn movie and a shot to win a trip out to the AVN Awards this year. Since both of these girls ultimately want to get into porn Howard set up some porn scenes to act out. The first contestant was a girl named Julie who revealed that she lost her virginity at 13 to a 37 year old truck driver. She was hitchhiking and this guy picked her up and she had sex with him in his truck. She said she wanted to have sex with him and doesn't regret doing it at all. She also started stripping when she was 13. Howard said that sounded like child pornography to him and she said it was "a little bit like that." Julie sounded like she had a speech impediment but she swore she didn't. Howard then set the scene for her. Jeff the Drunk was playing her high school principal and she was coming to his office to be punished for something bad she did. Howard was the director and kept yelling "Cut!" and "Action!" and giving everyone stage direction. Julie read her lines very dryly and Jeff slurred all over the place but the scene was going fine until Julie failed to grasp the concept of making the famous "Quack Quack Quack" sex sounds the script called for. Howard asked her over and over again to do it, and even played Aurora Snow's original tape of it, but Julie still couldn't get it. Then the script called for Jeff to spank Julie with a ruler which he did a little too enthusiastically. Neither Cytherea nor Teagan were that impressed with Julie's audition and gave her some constructive criticism by telling her she has to learn to take direction better and she should moan more in her scenes. Teagan moaned a little to show Julie how it was done.