Penthouse Pet of the Month Crystal Klein came in today and Richard Christy was in seventh heaven. He said Crystal is one of the hottest girls he's ever seen and he's a giant fan of hers. He even knew that she was once on Playboy.com under a different name. He put two and two together when he noticed a certain mole on her body and was proved correct when he studied the pictures side by side.
Crystal couldn't believe Christy knew that and said he must be a super fan. Christy said he couldn't wait until Friday night when he could pleasure himself to her. Howard wanted to find out more about Crystal so he interrupted Richard's fawning to ask her some questions. The 23-year-old beauty lost her virginity at 18 and has only had three serious boyfriends in her life, (though she's slept with 7 or 8 guys). She cheated on one of her boyfriends once, but Howard told her that's ok. She said she really loves sex and loves being with men; so much so that she doesn't even bother using a vibrator. She last had sex a month ago, so Howard figured she's pretty horny by now. Crystal grew up in Austria and Howard asked her if she hated Jews. She said no but she's not sure if she ever slept with one either. Howard started leafing through Crystal's layout in this month's Penthouse and Richard said he bought that issue the day it came out because he was so excited. Howard noted her ass and flat stomach in the magazine and said she looked amazingly hot.
As well as promote her new issue of Penthouse, Crystal was also here to play the piano completely nude for Howard. She can play classical music and some of her own music as well, but she doesn't sing. Howard suggested she strip down and play and maybe he'd make up some lyrics to her songs. Crystal got up and started to disrobe and Howard said her body was blowing him away. He wanted to know how big her breasts were, but before she could answer Christy shouted, "B-Cup!" Of course he was right. Crystal started to play the piano in the buff and Howard made up some lyrics to go along with her playing. When that got old he suggested she try to play while he tickled her. Howard got behind the nude Klein and started tickling her while she played, but she kept laughing and said she couldn't concentrate on the piano while Howard was doing that.
Crystal suggested that Howard spank her while she played; Howard didn't have a problem with that. Crystal stood up and played the piano while Howard spanked her to the beat of the song, which seemed to work better for her. Howard gave her a good spanking and her ass was red when he was finished. Finally, E! producer Doug Goodstein came up with the idea of the day. He suggested we spray Crystal down with cooking oil, just to see how she would look. Crystal said that was fine with her and Doug sprayed down her ass, abs and boobs. The cooking oil made Crystal look even hotter and everyone went crazy over her body. Unfortunately, Howard had to end the segment to go to break and Richard asked if he could bring Crystal back to his apartment.
Facing the Line-Up
After the break, Doug Goodstein talked about how everyone's head was spinning from the smoking hot Crystal Klein. Howard thought it would be really funny if he walked out of the office and saw everyone's head literally spinning. E! Director and Glassboro State Alum, Scott DePace said Crystal was now his #1 chick of all time. He didn't even mind her Austrian accent. All he wished for was to see her with blue eyes instead of brown. Doug then jokingly told Howard he thinks Crystal has fake boobs. Howard caught on and agreed, saying he thought the same thing. Of course Crystal came back in the studio and insisted she had real boobs, but Howard suggested she let Doug feel them so we could be sure. After Doug felt them, he still thought they were fake and let Howard take a squeeze. That wasn't enough to convince Howard either, so the line-up began. Gary, Artie, Fred, Ronnie, Richard, Brian Phelan -- just about everyone -- felt her boobs. Howard even got a flash light and a mirror to look for an implant. Benjy was the last to touch them and according to Gary, was the buzz kill. Gary said Crystal seemed fine with everyone feeling her up, but seemed freaked out by Benjy (she actually recoiled from his touch). Gary said Benjy does weird things with his eyes that freak girls out. Meanwhile, Doug wanted to bring Crystal back in to see if she had ass implants, but at that point, Howard said that Goodstein just sounded like he was bored of his marriage.