Gary mentioned to Howard today that Artie has been napping during the breaks. Howard asked him about it but Artie said he wasn't napping, he just didn't feel well. He said he's feeling so sick that for the first time in four years here he's done a number two at the station.
Gary said that Staff Photographer Jason Kaplan had a similar problem a few days ago. He said he ended up having an accident in his pants and went home. Howard said he heard about that and it sounded disgusting. Jason came in and said that out of nowhere he was hit with a big bout of diarrhea and went to relieve himself in the KROCK bathroom. But when he started walking back to his desk he felt something dripping down his leg and realized what it was, grabbed his coat, and ran home to change. Howard said he had an accident in his pants then, but Jason denied that at first. He said it wasn't an accident because he made it to the bathroom first. Howard and everyone said it was definitely an accident and the thought of him having crap dripping down his legs was just vile. Robin said it sounded similar to the accident she had in California. Jason finally admitted it was an accident and said he was just trying to justify it another way because he didn't want to think of it as an accident. To drive home the point, Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that Jason crapped his pants and then it ran down his legs, case closed. How is that not an accident? Artie said it sounded like the worst accident of all time.
Artie said that the KROCK bathroom is a rough place to go to the bathroom in. He said that people are walking in and out, it's dirty and the seats aren't screwed in right. Artie said he'd rather go to the Port Authority. Howard said he heard of a guy who cut off his wiener accidentally when he slid off a toilet seat that wasn't screwed in right. Fred said all the stalls here are like that. Gary said that the bathroom issues at KROCK are worse than ever because Tom Gesimondo used to be the guy to go to with bathroom problems and now he's gone. He also said that the paper you put on top of the toilet seats hasn't been replaced in a month. Artie pointed out that there are no windows or anything in it and there are odd hairs all over the place. KROCK General Manager Tom Chiusano said the biggest problem with the bathroom here is the people who use it. Tom can't believe the people here have the balls to complain about the disgusting bathroom that they make disgusting. Tom says it's always a freaking mess in there and he has little sympathy for people who complain. Howard pointed out that guests and bands use the bathroom too. Artie told Tom that it's his responsibility to make sure the bathroom is cleaned. Howard agreed and said maybe once a day is not enough to have the bathroom cleaned. Howard said at least he has his own private bathroom and he wants one at SIRIUS too. Gary said it's already done.
More In-Stall-ments of Horror
Gary said that in one of the stalls here, the door doesn't shut properly and he has to slam it shut. And the door springs open if the slightest thing touches it so one time he was in there doing a number two and the door swung open on him when someone walked in. - Dan the Song Parody man was using the urinal and realized he was standing in a puddle of who knows what. His shoelaces got into it so he just cut them off because he didn't want to risk it.
Richard Christy started to complain that people also leave their newspapers and magazines in the stall when they read them and that opened up a whole other weird can of worms. Tom said that he hates when people bring reading material into the bathroom because it's not supposed to be leisure time in there. He said he sometimes stops sales guys in the hall when he thinks they are carrying something to the bathroom and makes them leave it behind. Gary was shocked that Tom actually does that and wondered if he's even allowed to do it. Tom suggested that he could police certain people on Howard's show too if he wanted. Gary said that he admits he brings reading material to the bathroom but he sees nothing wrong with it. He pointed out that a lot of our staff could actually be looking for interesting things to talk about on the show while reading on the can. Howard also pointed out that Tom's sales staff could be looking for new clients in the paper too. Gary then told everyone how Tom takes the newspapers every morning and reads them while he sits with Dead Air Dave, policing the show with the dump button. Tom confirmed this but said he's doing two things at once. Gary said that when he's reading in the bathroom, he is too!
Fearless reporter Jason Kaplan checked out the men's room at KROCK as of 4pm today. He was happy to find that, somehow, all of the toilet paper and toilet paper rings were replenished and the floors and toilets looked cleaner. However, the urinals, sinks and garbage cans were still a mess. Here is his photo report: View More Pics: | Toilet 2 | Toilet 3