Artie told some tales of bachelor parties he's been to in the past which were pretty crazy. They pretty much all involved lots of hookers (some who resembled Phyllis Diller), drugs, and lots of booze. One time a girl came in to this party, asked his friend in an unsexy, raspy voice for some rope or bungee cords, and tied herself down on a banquet table.
She then let any guy at the party do anything they wanted to her, within reason. Artie said one guy had full on sex with her in front of everybody, but all he could do was kiss her on the cheek and say hello because he felt weird doing anything in a room full of guys. Dan the Song Parody Man came in and said Artie definitely knows how to party. There was one time where Artie took him out to a strip club and they came out with shots of booze and multiple hot chicks. Dan was having a great time when Artie suggested they go to a "much better place." Dan couldn't imagine what could be better than the party they were already at, when he overheard Artie ask a manager of the club where that all-night burger place was that he told him about.