Howard Unleashes the Beast

'A Current Affair' compares Beth and Howard to Beauty and the Beast.

Howard was all revved up yesterday because the quickly failing revival of the tabloid TV show, "A Current Affair," did a whole segment that was basically about how ugly they think Howard is. They called it their "Beauty and the Beast" segment and while they were very complimentary to Beth Ostrosky they kept pointing out how ugly Howard was and how lucky he was that Beth dates him. They even interviewed people on the street to ask them how creepy and ugly they thought Howard was. But the really funny part of all this was that they have been calling Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate, asking him why Howard hasn't been promoting the piece since they thought it was so complimentary. Howard thought they couldn't possibly be for real so Gary played him a voice mail from the publicist. The female publicist sounded perplexed that Howard wasn't talking about this extremely complimentary piece. Howard said he'd love to see what the publicist looks like and then have everyone comment on her looks on TV. Howard had the staff find pictures of this publicist, of "A Current Affair" host Tim Green's wife and of FOX owner Rupert Murdoch's wife so we could put them out there and let people comment on them. Howard warned the female publicist that she better not have one flaw on her because the audience will tear her apart. Gary quickly ran in with a picture of Rupert Murdoch and his current wife and Howard just laughed. He told Gary to go out on the street and let people comment on what they thought of Murdoch's looks and how lucky he has to have such a young wife. Howard warned "A Current Affair" and FOX that he's going to make their lives miserable now. He promised to now be apart of the publicist's life and said he hopes she has a thick skin.