Eric the Acting Midget called into the show today asking Howard to help him get a job. Howard suggested he could give tours of the Howard Stern Museum but Eric didn't sound too into that. He also didn't like the suggestion that he could sit in a glass booth on display. Howard played a recent voice mail of Eric's in which he suggested that Howard start his own men's magazine - as if Howard hasn't thought of that a million times already. He also played a bit Sal the Stockbroker made goofing around with Eric; putting him on hold, making him repeat things and generally giving him a hard time.
Howard said that he's working on an idea to get every single wackpacker together in a conclave to elect a head Dope, much like the cardinals got together and elected a Pope. He invited Eric to attend but Eric insisted he wasn't a wackpacker. Both Howard and Robin hated to break it to him, but he is a wackpacker. Eric then wanted to know why Howard didn't publish the story Eric wrote on the website and Howard said it was too depressing and he didn't want to put it up. He said he doesn't want his website to depress people (nobody is depressed here, right?). Artie said he was surprised to hear that the story of Eric's life is depressing.