HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEET Today was Beetlejuice's 37th birthday...we think. To help celebrate, Wendy the Retard and Daniel Carver recorded a few celebrity birthday greetings. Wendy recorded a greeting from Whoopi (or Wookie, as she put it) Goldberg, Rene Zellweger (which she couldn't begin to pronounce) and Julia Roberts. Daniel recorded clips as Michael Jackson and Brad Pitt, but they were so full of the N-word that Howard wouldn't use them at all. He cited Carver's clips as good examples of bits gone bad. He played a funny Beetlejuice birthday song parody as Beet came into the studio. Beetle walked in wearing a robe, but as soon as he came in he dropped the robe to reveal his birthday suit. Howard likened him to Hugh Heffner. Robin had never seen Beetle naked before...but she did like his red hair. Beetle seemed very comfortable being naked in the studio and Howard reminded everyone that Beet once appeared in video in which he invited a pizza delivery guy into his house while he was naked. Howard asked if Beetlejuice thought he would like to have kids and he said sure why not. Artie thought Beetle would make a great dad. Howard asked if Beet would adopt a Chinese kid or have one of his own. Apparently, Beetle's not a big fan of adoption. Robin asked what he would tell his son (if he adopted one) and he said he "wouldn't tell him nothing." Howard thought that was best and asked what kind of kid Beetle wanted. The discussion of children seemed to give Beetle second thoughts though, so Beet said he no longer wanted kids. To celebrate his birthday, Beetle will be boxing at the Crazy Leprechaun Bar and Grill, defending his championship belt he won last month. Beetle predicted he would win again. For some reason, Sal wanted to measure Beetlejuice's manhood and came into the studio with a tape measure. Howard told him to go ahead, so Sal measured it, while being careful not to touch anything. Beetle is 3 inches long, (which Robin noted was down to his knees). Howard took a call from a guy who said he thought Beetle had said he was in his 40's and Beetle said he was. Then he said he was in his 80's, despite saying aloud that he knew today was his 37th birthday. Howard had Gange bring in a birthday cake for Beetle while everybody sang happy birthday to him and then Beet tried to blow out the candles. Robin had to remind him not to lean in too close as he was still naked and Beetle had to blow many times to get them out, (the guys used trick candles on him). It was pretty funny listening to him huff and puff.