Hey Little Boy, Want Some Candy?

Howard had two funny intern stories to tell this morning.

The first involved a potential intern who had written a letter about how much he wanted to be an intern for the show. Howard said everything was looking good for the kid until they got to the part of the letter that said he really wanted to meet Natalie Portman because then they would become friends.

It case you weren't sure, this is a big creepy no-no.

Howard did have some good news for the kid though, he said he could probably send the exact same letter again, leaving out the creepy stuff this time, and get the internship. Next up, current intern Max was out getting lunch for his master when he was approached by an Indian looking man who asked if he ever did any modeling and if he trimmed his pubes! Max said he really wanted to get back to deliver the lunch he had been sent to get so he told the guy he would meet him later on the corner. When he got back to the office, everyone told him he was crazy for even talking to the guy. For some reason though, Max went back to meet the guy later and eventually the guy asked if it would be alright if the guy pleasured himself while Max stood nude in front of him. That's when Max finally got the hint and bolted. Max had told the guy he was 16 and decided that maybe he should report this guy -- in case he was a real sicko -- so he called 9-1-1. He said the 9-1-1 operator practically laughed at him and told him to call 3-1-1, unless it was an emergency. The 3-1-1 operator had no idea what to do with Max's info though, so he called 9-1-1 back and got someone to talk to. This person took down all the info Max had to give and said they would send someone to the guy's hotel. Howard noted that it wasn't really a crime to be gay in New York. Ralph called in to call Max a C-tease and wanted to know what he told the police. Everyone had a good laugh when he told them he said, "a gay Indian man had tried to court him."