Howard said the show's Tivo Master, JD Harmeyer, salivates over the interns to the point where he once said "Hi" to JD in the hall and JD was so busy watching the interns that all he could say back was "ugh." Howard heard that last night at the E! Party, notorious non-drinker JD even let one of the girls get him a drink.
JD said that was true, it was something called a Malibu Bay Breeze.
Artie asked if he got a side of penis with that drink and said he'd rather be sober than drink one of those.
Ronnie revealed the target of most of JD's attention is one intern in particular, Claudia. JD said they are all beautiful, but he does spend the most time with Claudia. He even goes out on smoke breaks with her, despite the fact that he doesn't smoke. Howard tried to get JD to reveal which of the interns he thinks about when he pleasures himself, but he wouldn't go there. Howard then asked, if he let JD take Claudia on a date -- it's against station policy to date interns -- what would he do with her.
JD thought they'd just go out for dinner and a movie. JD said it wouldn't happen though because Claudia was more into one of the E! guys than she was into him. Artie told JD to get used to it, they always go for the good looking guys. Howard wanted to know if the girls thought he was too old for them and Kelly quickly answered, "NO!" She said she and Claudia were both thinking about him while laying out by the pool the other day. Claudia said she couldn't even pay attention during yesterday's staff meeting because she was staring at Howard the whole time. Kelly said Howard was looking really good these days, especially now that Ralph's not dressing him. Gary chimed in with a buzz kill though, noting that their ages added together were still younger than Howard (they are 18 and 19). Howard wanted to know what the girls thought about Beth. Kelly thought Beth was beautiful and really wanted to meet her. Howard said she would be in later and thought he could make her wish come true. Turning his attention back to JD, Howard asked Claudia if she would go out with him. Claudia said she was intimidated by his innocence and Gary pointed out that this happens every semester with JD; he picks one girl to focus all of his attention on.
JD didn't really dispute it. Artie suggested JD go find a Brazilian stripper in need of green-card if he really wants to get lucky. Before letting them go back to work, Howard advised the girls to stay young and hot...and to always remember his address.