Howard said Siobhan the Transsexual had wanted to come in to prove once and for all that he was a she by having a female orgasm -- now that his...her surgery had healed.
Howard had wanted to take a break before bringing her in, but for some reason Gary brought her in before the break. Howard complained that he now had to have her in the studio for the whole break in addition to the time she'd be on the air.
He said he really didn't want to have to see her orange teeth and listen to her creepy voice that long. Gary said they thought they might need to give her a head start on her "project" since she claims to need 45 minutes to "complete" it.
You could almost hear Howard shudder at the thought of that. Jason came in to ask if there was a price at which Howard would have sex with Siobhan. Howard said no and Artie wanted to know what Jason's price was. Jason wasn't sure if there was one he would do it for either. Howard asked if he'd do it of a billion, Jason hesitated.
Coming back from the break, Fred played "Dude Looks Like a Lady" while Siobhan returned from the bathroom. As she returned she tried to hand Artie one of her infamous sanitary pads, but Artie was trying to eat and wanted nothing to do with it. Howard read that Siobhan's brother had mortgaged his house to pay for her surgery. She said this was true and added that her brother was in an accident recently and cannot work right now, so his house is in jeopardy. She said she tried to get a job as a mover, but no one would hire her. Howard had Siobhan get in the tickle chair so she could get started. He noted that this was the one time he was glad the E! cameras weren't filming. As the buzzing started, Artie said he'd seen enough. Howard pointed out Siobhan's varicose veins and she wanted to know what he expected from 50 year old legs. Hook Nose Mike called in to say the only thing funny about this was the fact that this person with the vibrator was both someone's father and grandmother at the same time.
Modeling Max the Intern wanted to know if Howard would rather tongue kiss his mother or touch Siobhan. Howard chose his mother, hands down. After 7 minutes, Howard told her to stop and gave her $500, courtesy of "The Devil's Rejects", for her efforts. Captain Janks called in to remind Howard how Siobhan had copied everyone's phone numbers out of Jackie the Joke Man's address book during a party at Jackie's house. Gary recalled how this was the same party she had tried to corner him so she could kiss him. He said he had to summon superhero strength to get away from her. Janks also told Howard that, after yesterday's show, he got 200 emails from people saying they would help make prank calls to promote Howard's move to SIRIUS. Howard wanted Siobhan to leave at this point, but agreed to let her stay for the Gossip Game.