Howard opened the show talking about the large number of celebrity porno tapes on the market these days. Robin commented there are so many out there she can't keep track of them anymore. The latest star to test the porn waters is Tom Sizemore, whose video is appearing on xxxtom.com. Apparently Tom is acting upset about the tape's release, but his former squeeze, Heidi Fleiss, claimed he has been trying to sell the thing for years. Gary saw the video and reported it is Tom with a couple of girls, and that all he does is talk. Howard played clips from the porno in which Tom discusses the Constitution, his lack of intelligence, and his habit of checking out other guys' packages when he was in school.
In addition, Tom also said he wished some bad things would happen to the police, which even upset the girls in the video. After Tom explained he was angry at the police because they were responsible for him losing all his money, one of the girls told him it was the system he was mad at, not the police. Howard wondered how the police took Tom's money, and Gary thought it was because they arrested him a number of times, which lead to lawyers' bills. Howard said Tom was nuts for saying something like that. Artie added that the police are necessary to protect citizens from people like Tom.
During another clip, Tom was in the middle of having sex when a dog in the house started barking and his cell phone began ringing. Howard noted that it sounded like a madhouse. Gary mentioned that in some of the video Tom was wearing a bike outfit that made him look gay. He also said Tom appeared maniacal throughout the tape. Howard noted that Tom is scheduled to call in sometime after Labor Day to explain the tape.