Getting the Ball Rolling

There was big news on today's show, but before Howard got to that he took a few phone calls.

• The first caller was disappointed with this season's "Surreal Life." Howard agreed, saying that he didn't like how the celebrities were given tasks, and he wished they just sat in the house and picked on each other all day. Howard said the only reason to watch the show was because of Janice Dickinson.

• A caller wanted to know if Artie has a hard time pleasuring himself because of the side effects of Paxil. Artie said that he could do it but it usually takes about 10 minutes to get the job done. Artie thought Paxil was good for when he's with Dana because he lasts longer and pays closer attention to her because he knows he has time. Howard talked about how he still has trouble holding out sometimes when he's with Beth. Another caller told him it wasn't his fault because when you have a girlfriend who looks like Beth it'd be impossible not to finish quickly.

• Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to talk about Soupy Sales. Howard said that he liked Soupy and that he was one of his heroes growing up, but that he wouldn't want him on the show. Robin asked the caller if he was retarded because of the way he was talking. He responded that he was just slow. Howard brought up that he didn't drink at a business dinner he attended last night. He said he's given himself rules, and that he'll only drink a little during the weekends from now on.

• Another caller wanted to know if Howard would be replaying his show on SIRIUS at night for people who couldn't listen to it in the morning. Howard said he's been thinking about that. He added that the show will start at different times on his channels for people who live on the West Coast.

Artie pointed out that in two months it'll have been a year since Howard made his announcement. Howard talked about how excited he was and said that if he was let out of his Infinity contract early, he'd start working at SIRIUS right away, despite what he said yesterday. Howard found out recently that his channels at SIRIUS will be 100, 101 and 102. He said he tuned into Eminem's channel once, but he could only listen for a few minutes because the DJs were being so raunchy. He said he's scared of running into them when he gets there.