Apocalypse Now

"The Dukes of Hazzard" opened No. 1 at the box office this weekend grossing more than $30 million. Robin said she wanted to stab herself when she read the news. She saw the movie, and she thought it was as dumb as a movie could get. Howard said the only reason people went to see it was because they wanted to see Jessica Simpson in short shorts. Artie thought if people just wanted to see a hot girl, they should simply go watch a porno. Howard mentioned that Jessica is now bad mouthing reality television, even though her career was going nowhere before MTV gave her and her husband, Nick Lachey, their own series.

Robin said Jessica's barely even in the movie, even though the commercials make it look like she plays a major role. She added that Jessica is dressed scanty in all her scenes, and everyone questioned if scanty was actually a word. Gary looked it up and found it means "limited or less than sufficient in degree." Howard played a tape where Jessica made up her own word, "iconish," when she meant to say "iconic." He then played a tape of Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper trashing "The Dukes of Hazzard", talking about how awful Jessica was in it. Howard said, although he was happy for Johnny Knoxville, who is also in the movie the movie, he thought "The Dukes of Hazzard's" being a box office hit was a sign of the end of the world.