Show Rundown: September 20, 2005
The Future Is Now
Stranger Than Reality
Howard welcomed Rappin’ Granny back to the show, who, at 83, claimed she was in better shape than ever. She mentioned that people don’t believe how old she is because she still cooks and shops on her own. Granny also brought up that she now has a boyfriend who is 10 years her junior. Howard wondered if the two of them have sex with each other, but Granny said they don’t really.
She explained that she would like to be physical with her beau, but that he would first need to “change something” in order for that to happen. Granny did note, though, that her boyfriend compliments her on her figure, and that she can only get half-naked around him out of fear that he’ll jump on her if she completely disrobed.
The Love of an Iris
When Howard asked Granny if she would ever do old lady porn, she responded that she would. To see how good she’d be at it, Granny and Howard read a transcript from a scene from one of Blue Iris’ movies. After the reading was done, Howard said he didn’t feel too well.
Blue Iris called in to say hello to Granny. Iris said that her latest fetish is having sex with midgets. She also reported that she has a new film that she will be sending to the show. Although Howard admitted there is nothing more disgusting than old lady porn, he asked the two women if they’d ever do each other in a scene. Both Granny and Iris seemed more than receptive to the idea. Artie then commented that the only thing he could think of that was more vile than old lady porn would be old man porn.