Howard said he was going to have four Penthouse models in the studio, and the crew would then vote on the one they would support in her quest to become Penthouse Pet of the Year.
As Howard discussed how much Richard was dying to participate in the voting, Melissa Jacobs, the first contestant, came into the studio for the beauty portion of the contest. Melissa quickly took off her clothes, and insisted her breasts were real, even though everyone in the studio took issue with her claim. Mike Gange then squeezed Melissa's breasts and pointed out "there was nothing real" about them. Not trusting such an important evaluation to Gange, Artie and Howard also felt her up and agreed. Melissa went on to say she had "three wives," but that she was "as into men as she was women." In fact, Melissa also mentioned she and her wives have never had sex, but they have done just about everything else. Turning to the personality portion of the contest, Howard asked Melissa what kind of animal she'd have sex with if she had to do it. After insisting she would never have sex with an animal, Melissa acknowledged, if she had to pick, she'd choose a tiger before playing the clarinet to Five For Fighting's "100 Years" for the talent portion of her routine. For the final part, Melissa put as much Kielbasa down her throat as she could while singing "Row Your Boat." Gange then noted that Melissa had put 2.5 inches of the sausage down her throat.