When the three women for The Artie Lange Dating Game entered the studio, Howard assured Artie, who couldn't see the girls, that he would find all of them attractive. Bachelorette Number One then mentioned that, like Artie, she'd been involved in an "extended breakup" recently, which was one of the reasons she was interested in dating him. The second contestant then called Artie "an incredible person" and that was why she wanted him, while Bachelorette Number Three said she thought Artie was "attractive" and had "a good heart."
After the women revealed their ages – which were 35, 28 and 23, respectively – Artie revealed he'd already made his decision as to which one he wanted to date. The women went on to claim they weren't bothered by Artie's former heroin addiction, with Number 3 comparing her shopping habits to Artie's bouts with drugs.
Turning to the game's questions, Howard asked the women if they'd ever "licked a man's taint," and the first responded "it had happened" in the past, while both the second and third contestants said they never did. The next question Howard asked was if the women would hide Artie from the cops if he was on the run, and the first said she would, the second replied she'd consider it depending on the crime, and the third noted it was contingent on how long they'd been together.
Howard then asked if the women could deal with it if Artie ever called out Dana's name during sex, and they all said they could. After all three women said they'd never had sex with a black man and that they didn't own dogs, Howard wondered if they'd perform oral sex on Artie while he ate and watched football, but only Bachelorette Number Two said she'd do it. Howard went on to ask the girls who Artie should pick if he didn't choose them, with Bachelorette Numbers One and Three suggesting the second woman, and Bachelorette Number Two selecting the third girl.
Artie got to his questions, and started by asking the women if they'd have a problem signing a prenup, and all of them said they wouldn't. Artie then asked the women what they liked to do at night, and the first replied she enjoyed going to bars, the second noted she'd want to go eating and drinking at a Jets game, and the third mentioned she liked going to restaurants and the movies.
Howard proceeded to ask the women what they didn't like about Artie, and the third said the pajama bottoms he wore recently to work, the second commented his addictive personality and the first replied his "indecisiveness." Howard next asked what each contestant thought their best physical attribute was, and they answered lips, eyes and smile, respectively, while also answering kissing, oral sex and "getting slammed from behind" when Robin asked them what they enjoyed most about sex. All three girls went on to say they'd never been with another woman, although numbers one and two said they had kissed a female before.
Bachelorette Number One told Artie she'd had sex with 10 guys in her life, while Number Two said six and Number Three responded three. Artie then asked the girls what they'd say to him if he offered to give their cousin a check for $1,000 instead of making him attend their wedding, and they all claimed they would have no problem with the scenario. When Howard asked the girls what their sexual fantasies toward Artie were, all of them reported they were most interested in "hanging out," although Number One added she wouldn't rule out the possibility of sex if it felt right.
All three contestants insisted they weren't concerned about Artie's weight. Finally, they answered Artie's question about their favorite television show and movie this way: Number One said she never watched television and "Tombstone" was her favorite movie, Number Two replied "Cheers" and "Pink Floyd: The Wall," and Number Three commented "Da Ali G Show" and "Dazed and Confused." Upon hearing their replies, though, Artie pointed out the correct answers were "Mad TV" and "Beer League."