John the Stutterer came into the studio and admitted he didn't get a single dollar from the porno he made earlier this year. John said he "got the shaft – in gangster talk – in more ways than one," but, as he tried to continue to tell his story, Howard interrupted him to note he was glad John was out of the industry. Howard then recommended John learn how to use sign language so people wouldn't have to hear him talk, but he replied he wasn't going to do that.
John revealed he did a standup show recently with the Rev. Bob Levy, but that he had no plans to continue his career because he didn't think Bob would take him on the road again. This led Howard to say he didn't think John would be a good standup because he couldn't imagine listening to him for an extended period, while Robin thought of John as "a spice," in that he was best in small doses. John then mentioned he wanted to tell two jokes, which were: "How do you make a country grow? You shoot a load of c*m on it." and "Ponder this question: What would Renee Zellweger's name be if she was black?" However, John added there was no answer to the second joke, and that it was "a rhetorical question." As John tried to talk about music, Howard announced he had a special caller on the line, and put through clips of John making insults – to himself. John responded, though, he "wasn't going to fight back" with the clips because he was worried about his blood pleasure, although he did tell himself to "go f' a duck." When Howard announced he might be appearing on "Late Show with David Letterman" a week from tomorrow, John told him he should "whip out his schlong" on the air. As John continued to give suggestions to Howard – like that he should "stick straws up strippers' p*ssies and asses" on "Late Show" – Robin commented she thought John should be added to Howard's writing team. Artie then said he was booked to be on "Late Show" as well, and that his appearance will be early next month.