Nice Shot...Dick (Cheney)

Howard awarded "The Cool Guy of the Week" honor to Vice President Dick Cheney, who, Howard joked, is doing the country a service by shooting right-wing republicans after a hunting accident this past weekend. Howard reported that the vice president's "shooting victim," Harry Whittington, looked as humorless as Dick himself, while Robin commented that they looked like they could be brothers. Howard went on to say that "60 Minutes" aired two anti-Bush pieces last night, the first about embryonic stem-cell research and the second on how American soldiers in Iraq often suffer sever injuries when they're attacked because of the lack of proper armor. Considering this, Howard called John Kerry the worst candidate ever seeing as he couldn't beat President Bush in 2004. Artie responded that, to him, one of the reasons Kerry lost the race was because he was "the most un-relatable democrat ever."