When Lisa Lampanelli stopped into the studio, she admitted that she used to date Joey Boots and that, as Joey had asserted yesterday, was the reason she decided to date only black men. Lisa added that she was recently dumped by her boyfriend of three years, Darryl, and this had taken its toll on her, especially because she put on 30 pounds during their relationship as she felt so comfortable with him. Given this, Lisa admitted that, in order for her to attract men now, she'll either have to lose weight or get "really famous."
Lisa commented that, based on her experiences, the more she weighs the "blacker" her partners become. Lisa also said that, although she can speak what she called "the vernacular" of black people, she tends to "stay white" when she's with a guy because part of the attraction for both parties is "the contrast." Lisa went on to note that she's looking for a boyfriend but that she tends to have a lot of one-night stands with guys she knows would never be her boyfriend. However, Lisa claimed that when she's really interested in someone, she'll make him wait three months before he gets to be physical with her.
Howard mentioned that Lisa's career is starting to take off and that she attracted a great deal of notoriety after her performance at the Pam Anderson Roast. Lisa responded that she had a great time at the event, before alleging that Courtney Love grabbed her and kissed during the show. Lisa then pointed out that she wasn't bothered by the kiss, but that she always imagined that she'd have been "the ugly one" during her first lesbian encounter. Lisa also reported that Andy Dick was getting on her nerves so badly at the ceremony that she had to move her seat away from him.
Lisa explained that the key to a successful roast is that the honoree needs to be having fun. To illustrate her point, Lisa remembered that she participated in a ceremony for Chevy Chase, but that none of the comedians liked him because of his arrogance. On the other hand, Lisa said that Pam, Donald Trump and Don King were all willing to get into the spirit of the event, which made for enjoyable evenings. When Howard asked Lisa if she'd ever have sex with Don King, she replied that she wouldn't, because she pictures him having "a shriveled penis." This led Lisa to comment that she normally doesn't have a problem with a penis' appearance, but that she can't stand looking at a man's testicles. In fact, Lisa pointed out that the only areas on a man that she finds attractive are from "the waist up and the knees down."