Lisa G. reported that The Howard 100 News was working on a story about the vending machine in the SIRIUS building. Lisa explained that workers used to fill the machine once a week before the show started its satellite run, but, because of Artie, they are now forced to restock it three times per week. This led Howard to point out that Artie had his arms filled with snacks this morning and he's noticed that Artie's "belly is huge." Robin also mentioned that she has noticed Artie's recent weight gain as well. Ralph called in and asked if Artie was trying to explode. Artie responded that he had no rebuttal to the observations and that he's put on 35 pounds since the summer. Because of all the unhealthy foods he consumes, Howard wondered if Artie ever feelt guilty during his eating rampages. Artie said he does and that last night was a perfect example. Artie recalled that he woke up from a nap at 8 o'clock, but, instead of going back to sleep, he decided to get up, pour a Pepsi and eat one of the huge chicken sandwiches, which consisted of fried bread covered with cheese and peppers, his mother prepared for him. To make matters worse, Artie added that he started watching Sportscenter and that he ended up eating another sandwich before the show ended. To test Artie's knowledge of the vending machine, Howard quizzed him on some of the numbers and the products with which they're matched. Artie responded to the challenge by knowing that #157 is Peanut M&Ms, #146 is Famous Amos Cookies and #136 is Wise Potato Chips. Artie also said that he sometimes eats a cinnamon bun found in the machine but that "when you take a bite out of it, you can see your own funeral."