When Joanie Laurer, formerly known as the WWE's Chyna, came into the studio, Howard pointed out that, unlike some of her previous appearances on the show, she seemed sober this morning.
Chyna replied first by admitting the man who she tried to pass off as her guitar-playing brother the last time she was on the program wasn't actually her sibling, before saying that her life was in a tailspin for a while. Joanie explained that when she was "thrown out" of the WWE by Vince McMahon, a man she described as a father figure, she was crushed and immediately moved to Hollywood in an attempt to get into television movies.
However, Joanie noted that there was a stigma attached to her which prevented her from getting work and that her then boyfriend, Triple H, left her for Vince's daughter at the same time. Joanie acknowledged that Triple H's actions really broke her heart and that was when she got mixed up with Sean Waltman, another wrestler who she claimed "really hurt her."
No Juice for Joanie
A caller asked how Joanie got her unique voice. Joanie claimed that she's never touched steroids in her life and if people knew how hard she worked to keep in shape, they'd know that's true. When Joanie added that she's also been able to maintain her physique because of her ability to steer clear of alcohol and drugs, Howard pointed out that statement was, in fact, false, which Joanie admitted was the case at some points in her life – like the last time she was on.
One Bad Apple ...
Howard brought up that Joanie hasn't had sex in more than a year and asked her if she was getting pleasure in any other way. Joanie replied that she hasn't had an orgasm of any kind during in a year and that the reason is because of her fear of getting into another relationship with a man. Joanie then claimed that the cause of this trepidation was her former boyfriend, Sean, who she said was very bad for her. Joanie added that, although she's started to recover from her experiences with Sean, she acknowledged that she still wakes up in tears because of some of the things he allegedly did. Given this, Joan went on to say that it'll take her a while before she trusts a man again.
Good vs. Good
After promising to bring in a guitarist during her next visit so she can re-record her song, "Holiday," Joanie mentioned that her new movie, "Illegal Aliens," stars her and Anna Nicole Smith as opposing aliens. Joanie then noted that while Anna plays a good alien in the film, her role was as an evil alien. However, when Joanie added that her character comes to earth in order to save human beings from a collision earth is about to have with another planet, Howard noted that it sounded like she's actually a good alien as well. Joanie responded, though, that she kills people in the film and that, although she also helps people in it, she is considered to be the bad alien. When Howard suggested that the plot of the movie sounds like one of Artie's films, Artie agreed with the statement, except that "Illegal Aliens" sounded "better."
Joanie went on to say that "Illegal Aliens" is being shown to distributors tonight and that she was paid "a few thousand dollars" for her role. After playing some clips from the movie, Joanie reported that she's trying to follow in the footsteps of Jack Nicholson. This led Fred to do his Herman Munster-like impression of Joanie from scenes out of "Dirty Harry" and "The Godfather." Artie also pointed out that, in the clips, Joanie sounded a bit like High Pitch Eric's character in "Supertwink."
Cussing's Allowed, You Know
Joanie said that she's happy with her body now that she doesn't lift weights anymore. Joanie did say, though, that at her peak, she used to bench 315 pounds. Joanie also acknowledged that she didn't make enough money from her days as a wrestler to support herself now, but that she's confident money will start coming her way again. After Howard recommended that Joanie submit "Illegal Aliens" into The Howard Film Festival, Artie pointed out that, although there are no restrictions at SIRIUS, the show got a "sober Joanie and a non-swearing Beetlejuice," so he wondered why they even bothered leaving KROCK.