By the Skin of His Eye

Howard got ophthalmologist, Dr. Julie Miller, on the phone to discuss what could potentially happen to Gary after he was hit in the eye by a liquid that came out of porn star, Annie, during Tuesday's show. Dr. Miller reported that the odds of Gary contracting HIV because of the incident are "low," explaining that the eye has a layer of skin covering it to prevent viruses from penetrating it. However, Dr. Miller advised that it wouldn't hurt Gary to get an HIV test just to ease his mind.

Gary mentioned that he always uses condoms when he has sex with his wife, and that he prefers that form of contraception over getting a vasectomy. Howard added that he'd never go through with that procedure either, because he wouldn't want the doctors involved seeing his penis. Howard added that he's heard that people who've had vasectomies also have a higher rate of prostate cancer, which he said is another reason he's not interested in the operation. Gary commented that he had his own embarrassing run-in with a doctor, recalling that he once got a rash by his "crotch," and that the doctor who treated him was an attractive woman. Gary then reported that he's become friends with his urologist, which he noted is difficult when the doctor is examining his private areas. Howard pointed out, though, that he's seen Gary naked, and that he must be comfortable undressing in front of his doctors because of the size of his penis. This led Howard to wonder how "big" Artie was. Artie replied that he doesn't think he's as small as Howard claims to be, but that he's "no Mark the Bagger" either.