Back Off the Cheese

May 16, 2006
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Jeff the Drunk got on the line and Artie pointed out he had to settle a dispute with him. Artie explained he watched Howard TV’s coverage of The Howard Stern Film Festival yesterday and he noticed Jeff was in the audience yelling, “F’ you, Artie.” Howard replied he was surprised Jeff had such animosity toward Artie, seeing as Artie has given him Yankees’ tickets, his phone number and money in the past. Artie then commented he has a genuine liking for Jeff, so he was curious about Jeff’s behavior as well. When Jeff insisted he was playing to the cameras at the film festival, Artie said he could tell Jeff was actually angry. This led Jeff to admit he was upset with Artie because of the jokes he’s been telling about his mother’s diet of grilled cheese sandwiches. Jeff went on to tell Artie the only food his mother loves to eat is cheese, and he prepares grilled cheese sandwiches for her because of this, not because he doesn’t have enough money left over after he buys his cigarettes, booze and pot.