How to Fight Loneliness

When Jessica Hahn called in to report she and her personal assistant are parting ways, Howard wondered what she does all day that makes her need an assistant in the first place. Jessica said yesterday, for example, was a "fully beauty day" for her and today all she has to do is "make a couple of phone calls."

Jessica went on to say she'd be willing to help Artie out any way she could, including servicing him sexually. Artie noted he's still in love with Dana, but, because he feels their relationship seems to be beyond repair, he told Jessica he'd be in Los Angeles at the end of the month, which she said would be a perfect time for them to get together. Jessica also informed Artie she'd do anything for him and wouldn't mind if he watched a Yankees game and ate pizza while they had sex – if that's what he wanted. Jessica added she wouldn't even bother Artie by trying to talk to him after they were together, but would instead let him leave whenever he wanted without any commitments.