Howard announced that since there are only 20 seats available tonight for Artie's roast, two contestants – Eddie the Produce Guy and a man named Chris – would be playing The Artie Lange Trivia Game. Howard explained each of the contest's participants would be given a question and for every one he got wrong, he'd have his genitals waxed, while the one who was the first to answer six questions correctly would be able to attend the roast, even though Chris noted he'd be giving his ticket to a friend of his if he won.
Howard then turned to Nora, the woman who waxed Richard earlier this year, and asked how business for her salon, The Skin Beauty Lounge, has been since she was on the show. Nora responded her first appearance increased her cliental a great deal, especially among gay military men, although she didn't know why that was the case. After Eddie and Chris were prepped for waxing, Howard asked them the following questions:
• What famous Hollywood co-star did Artie think he had a chance of scoring with until the movie they worked on together wrapped? Chris answered Rene Zelleweger, and he was right.
• When Tom Cruise yelled at Artie, what did he want Artie to do? Eddie correctly responded with "come into the scene faster."
• When Artie was in Las Vegas, which Wack Packer pranked the news with the report Artie had died? Chris guessed Melrose Larry Green, which was incorrect. After Chris received his first wax, he scored the pain a seven. Eddie then got the right answer with Capt. Janks.
• When Artie passed a note to the teller of the bank he was pretending to rob, how much money did he demand? Chris said $50,000 and was right.
• What was the name of Artie's character in "Dirty Work"? After Eddie incorrectly answered "Sam Cabiano," he got waxed, which elicited a number of "sh*ts" from him. Chris then got the right answer, Sam McKenna.
• Who directed Artie in "Elf"? Chris didn't know, and as Nora prepared for his waxing, Artie noted he respected Chris for not knowing who directed "Elf" yet remembering his name in "Dirty Work" was Sam McKenna. After Chris was waxed and screamed, he rated the pain a nine. When Eddie didn't get the right answer – which was Jon Favreau – either, he gave the pain he was feeling a 9.5 after he got waxed.
• What is Artie's sister's name? Chris said Stacy, which was right.
• What is Artie's mother's name? Eddie avoided waxing by answering Judy.
• While driving around Los Angeles in a pig costume, Artie sniffed cocaine off of what? Chris guessed the dashboard, and Nora said his pants had to come off once she found out he was wrong. Nora proceeded to wax the hair on Chris' "taint," which she commented was longer than most men's hair in that area. After Chris said the pain was a 10, Eddie correctly went with "a key."
• What is Artie's birthday? Chris replied with October 11, 1967 and was right.
• What university did Artie briefly attend? Eddie guessed Union College, but it wasn't the right answer, so he got waxed. Once it was done, Gary pointed out Eddie's penis almost touched his head because he was convulsing so much. Chris then guessed Montclair State University, which was also wrong. After Chris acknowledged this round of waxing was the worst yet, Howard revealed the answer was Seton Hall.
• What concert does Artie claim he cried during? Chris said Bruce Springsteen, and Nora waxed "under the shaft" because that was the wrong answer. Eddie then got the right response, which was Michael Jackson.
• What is the name of Artie's DVD? Chris correctly answered "It's the Whiskey Talking."
• What did Don Rickles famously call Artie in "Dirty Work"? Eddie was correct with his guess of "baby gorilla." Since Eddie and Chris each had six answers correct, Howard announced the game was going into sudden death.
• What 1999 film did Artie star in with Chris O'Donnell and Rene Zellweger? Chris said "The Bachelor," and he was right.
• In May 2006, Artie said this woman is the hottest chick on the planet. Eddie lost the game when he guessed Jessica Alba, because the correct answer was Carmen Electra. Eddie then got his testicles waxed.