Since it was Artie's turn to offer jokes about his roasters, he told the Rev. Bob Levy he broke the stereotype that "all Jews are smart and good with money." After saying that Sal has a comedy coach and then reminding him that the Knicks have a coach which hasn't really helped them this year, he thanked the Stern Fan Network for writing all of Sal's material. Artie proceeded to mention Colin Quinn was more upset than anyone else about the passing of Charlie Rocket because his death gave Colin the title of "least-successful, living, former 'Saturday Night Live' member," he reported he already can't wait to talk about what's sure to be Howard's newest favorite TV show, "Two Guys Blow Each Other," "instead of the Super Bowl next year."
Artie added Andrew Dice Clay keeps talking about how he sold out Madison Square Garden, but that the last time he did it "the Knicks were all white." Artie also acknowledged that 15 years ago he waited in line for two hours just to get tickets to one of Dice's shows and now he wants Dice "to lose" his phone number. After thanking Bob for seating him next to Lisa Lampanelli because she made him look thin, Artie reported that Nick DiPaolo plays a racist cop in "Beer League" and that to prepare for the role, Nick "hung out with himself for a week."
Artie next said he planned on making fun of the movies the roasters had been in, but couldn't do so because they hadn't been in any. Artie then thanked everyone who participated in his roast and pointed out they all owed him a debt of gratitude as well for living "such a crazy, f'ed up life."
Howard brought up that Artie was sweating heavily and he responded it was both because of the lights and his "calculated" refusal to take off his leather jacket. Howard then acknowledged that he can't drink during any future broadcasts because of how drunk he felt, but Ralph, who had come into the studio, assured him that all he had to do was pace his alcohol intake better. This led Artie to admit he was "lit," while Fred added he had consumed three glasses of scotch during the roast himself.