Howard announced it was time to drink, so he introduced Kerry the Bartender and Lizzette the Cocktail Waitress, both of whom were from Scores. Robin then ordered champagne, Howard a Ketel One, Artie a Jack and water with a large straw so the alcohol could get into his system faster, Benjy a vodka and diet soda, Fred a scotch and Gary a Heineken Light.
Gary later got on his intercom and noted Richard was already drunk and was "weaving" in the hallway. While Howard was waiting for Richard to come into the studio, JD stopped in to order a Jack and Coke from the bar. Howard proceeded to persuade JD to use some of his "liquid courage" and hit on Kerry and Lizzette, but his only question – which was "Where are you from?" – didn't go over well with the girls. In fact, when Howard asked if either of the girls was interested in JD, Lizzette sarcastically said she was, but only because she "likes the Clay Aiken look."
Richard entered the studio and acknowledged he'd been drinking for hours because "the vibe was so much fun," before adding he'd also been "cheersing" everyone as well. Because of Richard's drunkenness, Howard played the video he had of a man eating his own feces and vomiting afterward, a clip that almost made a sober Richard throw up earlier in the day. Upon seeing the footage again, Richard began dry heaving and ended up vomiting a little of what he thought was potato salad.
After Gary informed Howard that Richie from Nobu had brought in food for the roast, and after Richard unsuccessfully tried to convince Robin to hug him so he could feel her breasts on his body, Will administered a Breathalyzer test to Richard. Following two failed attempts at getting an accurate reading, Will revealed Richard's blood-alcohol content was .3 percent. Will next gave Howard and Artie the same test, and their blood-alcohol contents came back as .121 percent and .38 percent, respectively.
Howard mentioned he had clips he wanted to play, but that he didn't feel like he could get to them because he was feeling the effects of his drinking. When Richard came back into the studio, he began talking about how funny he was as a standup, but Artie broke the news to him that he wasn't as good as he thought. Artie went on to note that, as a beginner, Richard's "a decent comedian," but most of the laughs he gets when he's on the road stem from the fact that the people in the audience know him from the show and react to him because of that.
Sal then came into the studio and called Richard's standup routine "awful," before advising Richard to take another Breathalyzer test, which he did. After Will said Richard's second blood-alcohol reading was .26 percent, Sal told Richard he had placed the contraption's disposable mouth-piece "up his ass" before Richard used it and showed him video evidence he had of the incident.
While Artie couldn't believe Sal would stoop to such a low level, Richard responded to the video by slurring, "You know what? The joke's on you, motherf'er, because I don't care." Despite Richard's reaction, though, Howard assured him Sal had played a joke on him, and the mouth-piece he had used was, in fact, a clean one.
Gary pointed out that Richard's head was bleeding and Richard said he thought the blood started after he banged his head a microphone earlier. Richard went on to comment that he had a trick he wanted to show Howard, explaining that, when he's drunk, he has the ability to urinate into a toilet while standing five feet away from it.
However, Richard added he couldn't perform the stunt at that moment because he didn't have to relieve himself, so he instead propositioned Sal to have a make-out session with him. Sal replied that he'd kiss Richard only if he closed his eyes first, and, when Richard did as he was told, Sal spit on him. As Sal tried to escape the studio, though, Richard was able to spit on him as well.