A New Ending at the Beginning

Jon Hein kicks off the Friday Show.

August 18, 2006
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Jon Hein kicked off this week’s edition of “The Friday Show” talking about how they always play Loverboy’s “Working for the Weekend” at the end of every broadcast, and that the group’s lead singer, Mike Reno stopped by the studio last week. While he was there, Mike cut a different version of the song – this one called “Everybody’s Listening to ‘The Friday Show'” – for them. After playing the song, Gary said it was “funny,” while Richard commented Mike seemed “shocked” at some of the lyrics he was asked to sing, including lines referring to Gary as “an ape,” Jon as “a nerd” and Ralph as “a f*g.” However, a number of callers recommended Jon not play the song very often, suggesting he stick with Madison’s theme song for the show opener.

It Does a Body Good

Jon played an interview one of this week’s guests, Greg Fitzsimmons, did with Howard while the show was on KROCK. In the clip, Greg told a story about how he and his wife were at a hotel to get a break from their newly born baby, and how her breasts became engorged with milk because she forgot her breast pump. Gregg described how he helped alleviate the problem by sucking on them and how this led to a very wild sex session with his wife. After the clip, Jon commented that he didn’t know how to respond to it, and Gary admitted he was “disgusted” by the act of breastfeeding in general.

Thursday’s Creative Meeting

Gary recalled how the Thursday creative meetings started right after “Private Parts” was filmed, and that Howard wanted everyone associated with the show, from on-air personalities to people in charge of the lights, to be involved. Jon then played a portion of a recent meeting where a discussion was held about the contest to determine who the biggest staff-member fan of the show was. Jon then played clips of the actual game, including one in which Sal admitted to cheating, followed by another in which he claimed he didn’t cheat despite mounting evidence against him. When the tape was done, Sal again insisted he didn’t cheat, but Gary commented the fact that he didn’t “bitch and moan” about not getting the money he would’ve won from the contest meant he did cheat.

Sal & Richard’s Rejected Bits

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

In this week’s installment of Sal and Richard’s Rejected Bits, Sal explained he and Richard were hosting a “Jack and Rod Show,” and its guest was a man named Peter, who had written a book about funny words. Before they interviewed Peter, Sal announced he and Richard had two guests, Mike (Walker) and Riley (Martin), in the studio, and, whenever Peter read one of his “funny” words, they’d play Mike and Riley’s laughs over and over. After a minute of the laughs, Peter commented that Mike and Riley must’ve been “exhausted” when their shifts were done before hanging up on them. Following the clip, Ralph said he didn’t understand the bit, while Gary and Jon didn’t think it worked either. In the next rejected bit, Jon played a commercial parody Sal and Richard made for a “scat party,” which Sal described as people getting together to defecate on one another. Although both Richard and Sal admitted they didn’t like the piece, Gary told them he liked it more than the first clip. Gary then took a call from a guy who told how he caught his wife masturbating recently while watching Richard on Howard TV. When the caller added that his wife looked like Julia Roberts and wanted to ride the Sybian, Gary recommended he stay on the line and give his contact information to Will.

Caller of the Week

For today’s winner of the Caller of the Week title, Jon played a call made by a listener named Pete, who wanted to know if he could come into the studio to control the Sybian while his mother rode it, and if they could both also lick Siobhan the Transsexual’s rear end. After the call, Gary reported he met Pete and his mom yesterday, and they’d be coming in to perform their stunts on Monday.

The Death of Jon Bonham

Photo: Getty Images

Jon played a clip from Howard’s show from W4 Radio in Detroit, the day after former Led Zeppelin drummer, John Bonham, died in 1980. In the clip, Howard called Scotland Yard to see if he could find out any information about John’s death, but the constable on the other line didn’t even know John had passed away. As Howard talked about John’s life in order to see if the constable could guess how he died, he still wouldn’t give his opinion on the topic because he didn’t know the facts of the case. After the clip, Gary said Fred wasn’t working with Howard at that point, and Howard was essentially doing the show by himself every morning. Gary added that, although Fred was in college at the time, he still used to call in to do his impressions on the air from time to time from a payphone outside his dorm room.

When Gene Met Gene

Jon played a clip from KROCK in August 2001 when Craig Gass was filling in for Artie. In the clip, Craig was doing his Gene Simmons impression while the real Gene was in the studio, which, at first, made it difficult to tell who was talking at any given moment. However, as the conversation went on, and as one of the Genes talked about a KISS pay toilet that was in production, a KISS douche, a KISS gated community, and a KISS Kids Klub, otherwise known as “the KKK,” it became apparent who was saying what. When the clip was done, Gary said Craig was able to “capture” Gene’s obsession with money, adding he was dressed in full KISS makeup while the actual Gene was wearing a suit and tie. Although everybody thought Craig did a great job that morning, Jon also played a tape from last month, when Craig called in as Gene to confront Lisa G., who had accused the real Gene of trying to stuff a dollar down her shirt when he was in the studio the previous day, but he didn’t fool anyone.

The Best of Fred

Fred - before Fred – before Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Ralph said this week’s first segment of The Best of Fred featured the sound effects he played while Penny Crone was in the studio talking about how she used to orally service police officers when she was younger, and included police sirens and an extended version of the “quacking” oral sex sounds famous on the show. In the remaining clips, Fred played Mike Walker’s wind-passing sound byte as a song sent in by listener was airing, plus his Herman Munster/Nicole Bass impersonation from when Nicole was in the studio. Following the tapes, Ralph announced Fred would be sitting in on an upcoming episode of “The Friday Show” so he could explain how he works his sound effects.