Howard played a clip of High Pitch Mike's new anti-Artie op-ed piece, so Mike came in to rail against Artie for falling asleep on the show and claiming Mike uses the n-word "all the time." Mike admitted that he once made fun of Robin's weight and clarified a comment he once made that, when it was originally misunderstood, people used to brand him as a racist: He said he couldn't change his "bum eye" anymore than Robin could change her skin color.
Mike then asked Howard which made more at the box office; "Beer League," "UHF," "Howard the Duck," or "Garbage Pail Kids: the Movie." Howard guessed that "Beer League" made the most, but Mike revealed that each of the movies listed made more than Artie's cinema-bortion. Will came in to say Mike must be a virgin because he can't describe what a vagina feels like, but Mike claimed he got laid "back in college and shortly after college."