Photo: Universal PicturesPhoto: Boston Globe via Getty ImagesGary came into the studio and reported he talked to people from "The L Word" yesterday, and they told him Beth's "girl crush," Katherine Moennig, was available, so he was trying to book her on the program. This led Howard to play voicemails Crazy Alice left for Howard last night, where, in the first one, she not only called Beth "a lesbian," but also referred to him as "Gay Howard" because of the crush she thought he had on Brad Pitt. In the second clip, Crazy Alice hurled insults at Artie, Joan Rivers and Lisa G.
Because he referred to Alice as "a Wack Packer of the first degree," Howard also replayed Wack Pack Feedback segments, which featured Riley Martin, Eric the Actor, Wendy the Retard, Jeff the Drunk and Blue Iris discussing Anna Nicole Smith's death, as well as possible names for the company if the SIRIUS and XM merger goes through.
Talk of the Town
Howard got to a tape of Barbara Walters talking about his engagement to Beth on "The View," and Howard reported Beth was booked to co-host the show in the near future. While the tape continued, one of the program's hosts, Joy Behar expressed concern over the marriage, but Barbara assured her that Howard was "different" in real life, calling him "attractive" and "nice." Howard then played clips of other morning show hosts discussing the engagement, with one, Juliet Huddy, saying she got her first broadcasting job because of a story she did in college on Howard's book, "Private Parts," and another erroneously reporting that Beth was set to marry Howard K. Stern of Anna Nicole Smith fame. After another newswoman noted that she didn't understand how Howard got "such hot chicks," Howard replied by saying he didn't have any trouble getting women when he was on his "roll" prior to meeting Beth, and that he was confident he could've "gotten" the reporter in question had he met her back then.
Honoring Black History Month
Since today was the last day of Black History Month, Howard played clips of movies with the n-word in them, and everyone had to guess what each film was. Here were the segments Howard played, as well as the responses he got: • "It's the dead n***** in my garage." Artie said he knew the answer right away, and went with "Pulp Fiction," which Howard guessed was correct, even though he didn't have an answer key. Sal then came into the studio and identified himself as "the answer key," causing Howard to admit that he would've preferred a piece of paper with the answers on it. • "What's up my n*****?" Howard noted he knew, and went with "Pretty in Pink," and Artie guessed "Revenge of the Nerds." However, Sal revealed Robin was correct with her reply of Jackie Chan in "Rush Hour." • "We're gonna keep out the n******" "Sir, you are talking to a n*****." Artie immediately got the answer, "The Jerk," which he described as "the best movie ever." • "I'm a n***** with a badge…" Robin got the answer, "48 hours." • "N****** are having a good time with our policy banks up there in Harlem." Robin again got the answer, which was "The Godfather." • "You're great grandmother f'ed a n*****." Artie got the correct answer, "True Romance." • "Up yours, n*****." Artie again was right with his answer of "Blazing Saddles." • "I do not look down on n******." Howard guessed correctly with "Full Metal Jacket." • "Now you found yourself a n*****." When no one could identify the answer, Sal announced it was from "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."
What Would Jesus Do?
After Artie told a story about one of his classmates getting beaten by a nun in school because he didn't bring in his homework one day, Gary told his nun tale. Gary recalled that his incident took place on the morning of his First Communion, and how, as a joke, one of his friends jabbed him with a needle, which caused him to yell. Gary added the nun in charge of the event proceeded to call him up to where she was and slapped him "six or seven times" in front of his peers. Upon hearing the stories, Howard acknowledged he was "so happy" the director, James Cameron, had "discovered Jesus" in an upcoming documentary he did about people who allegedly found Jesus' bones and tomb, because of what it meant to Christianity.