The comedian, Doug Stanhope, and his girlfriend, Bingo, came in. Bingo started by admitting she was on medication for her schizophrenic condition. This led Howard to recall the last time Doug and Bingo were on the air, and how she told a story about how she was "almost soft raped" by a man while they did drugs together and he gave her a massage.
Despite the craziness of the story, Doug acknowledged he loved being with Bingo, adding he considered her to be "a Mr. Potato Head" because of her baldness and willingness to try on wigs. Gange then brought in some wigs for Bingo to try on, and Howard commented he liked her best as a brunette.
Luring Men on the Internet
Doug talked about the book he wrote, "Fun with Pedophiles: The Best of Baiting," in which he pretended to be a young girl on the Internet just to see what old men would write to them in instant-message conversations. Doug went on to say he still laughed whenever he read the transcripts of the conversations, explaining he tried to be funny, but the men really thought they were conversing with underage girls.
Doug went on to admit he didn't think he could "top" the stories he told the last time he was on the show, and also acknowledged his life was becoming more "normal" than ever.
Looks Over Mental Stability
Doug brought up that he was still legally married to the woman he married when he was 20, and Howard advised him to finalize his divorce in case he ever struck it rich as a comic. Doug then said he felt most people were "boring," which he acknowledged was one of the reasons he liked being with Bingo. This led Howard to say he gave Doug credit for dating a woman who was mentally ill, but Artie replied he'd go out with Bingo himself, regardless of her mental state, because she was so good looking. In fact, Artie added he'd dated a number of "crazy broads" just because they had "nice tits."
More Isn't Always Better
When Doug admitted he wasn't interested in having sex very often because of how much he drank and did drugs, Artie responded he knew the feeling. However,
Artie also pointed out that, if he had a girlfriend by his side the way Doug did, he'd still have sex with her all the time. Doug then guessed he and Bingo last had sex in January, and again claimed it was because he lacked "the drive" to do it much anymore. Bingo then talked about the threesome she and Doug had with another woman, but neither of them really enjoyed the experience for some reason.
Bingo went on to talk about the time she recently "messed around" with one of Doug's friends, which he acknowledged he didn't mind.