Howard brought up that David Letterman was absent from "Late Show" last night because of a stomach virus, and that Adam Sandler filled in for him.
To discuss this, Howard brought Evil David Letterman into the studio, and he began his appearance by asking Robin, who recently started racing cars, to sit on his belly and pretend his "penis was a stick shift." Dave went on to say that, "even dead," Anna Nicole Smith was still "a great f'."
Howard then read some articles out of tabloids, including ones about President Bush's alleged marital problems, Elton John's recent birthday party, and Bernie Mac proposing a roast for Michael Richards featuring only black comedians. Evil Dave proceeded to recite the following poem as well: "Roses are red, violets are blue, if you saw the size of Paul Schaffer's penis, you'd be turned on too."