Howard started this morning talking about the debut of Rev. Bill Keller's show yesterday. Howard mentioned that, as he was listening to the broadcast, he decided to see what people on the Stern Fan Network thought of the show, so he logged onto the site only to discover many posters felt it was boring. Howard added, though, that when he decided to call into Bill's show to make his fans happy, he saw they criticized him for "ruining" it, which led him to admit he didn't know how to satisfy some of his listeners.
Howard proceeded to play a clip from Bill's show, of Bill talking to Siobhan the Transsexual. In it, Siobhan insisted she was actually born a woman, even though she once had a penis. Siobhan then got on the line with Howard and referred to Bill as "an ass-wipe," explaining that she was trying to inform Bill that people's genders shouldn't be determined by their sex organs but instead by their "states of mind."
Howard next got to a tape of Bill warning Misty the Prostitute that she was going to hell, and Howard replied he felt Bill scolded the people he spoke to on his program more than he counseled them.
Riley Is Staying Put
Because he was on the topic of the shows on his channels, Howard played the latest contract negotiations between Tim Sabean and Riley Martin, who threatened to quit following his show this past week following failed contract talks with Tim. During the exchange, Riley claimed he only wanted "a decent salary" for a weekly two-hour show, demanding $2,000 per show, which was down from his former request of $20 million. However, Tim replied Riley's offer was still "too rich for his blood," and Riley cut his proposal down to $1,000 a show. After Tim next told Riley that he couldn't give him either $1,000 a week or a two-hour show, he said he could instead guarantee Riley $400 for each one-hour show he did, which Riley accepted for the next three months.
Remember: Vote for Sanjaya
Howard reminded everyone that "American Idol" was on tonight and once again encouraged listeners to vote for Sanjaya. While Robin commented she would do her part this week in voting for Sanjaya, Howard acknowledged he'd have to make himself stay up late tonight despite his illness. Eric the Midget then got on the line and promised Sanjaya wouldn't survive this week, but, even if he did, he knew he wouldn't win next week because Howard was on vacation and therefore couldn't promote Sanjaya [remember, you can always get the phone number to vote for Sanjaya here at HowardStern.com, even if the show is on vacation]. When Howard questioned how Eric had figured out their vacation schedule, Eric explained that he figured it out both because he "looked at his calendar" and because a bit he was lined up to do wasn't scheduled until April 9th. Despite Eric's claim, Howard said he'd have Bubba start talking about Sanjaya next week, and Robin suggested Howard record pro-Sanjaya buffers and run them during the show's vacation as well. Eric then mentioned he had a contact that was going to allow him to interview "American Idol" contestants, and Howard responded that, if that actually happened, he'd play the interviews on the air.
Getting Close with a Pop Singer
A caller pointed out how great customer service was at SIRIUS, which led Robin to agree and say she spent a portion of her weekend with the singer, Pink. However, when Robin explained she wasn't physically with Pink, but instead just listening to her hosting a show on SIRIUS, Howard acknowledged he didn't understand what she meant at first. Fred then announced he was "with President Bush" yesterday...because he saw him on television.
Don't Believe Everytihng You Read
King of All Blacks called in and reported he'd heard that Howard and Beth were getting married in July, but Howard assured him no date had been picked for their marriage. King proceeded to ask Howard, if he were to have a ceremony, would any black, people besides Robin, be invited, and he responded no, with the exceptions being "the waiters and security." As Howard went on to claim he didn't have any friends, Robin pointed out she was the same way, and that Artie was the only person from the show who seemed to have any real friends outside of the show.
How To Beat the LawHoward took a call from Joe Scott, a man who invented a product called PhotoBlocker, which he claimed prevented police cameras from being able to read license plates with traffic cameras. Joe explained the cameras where he lived – Washington, D.C. – often malfunctioned, but people who received tickets from the machines couldn't fight them because they were arguing against machines, so that was why he created the product. Joe went on to say PhotoBlocker was legal because it didn't obstruct the license plates from being read by "the naked eye," which he added was written in the law, and that he'd sold 500,000 cans of the spray.
Howard proceeded to take calls from Bobo, who insisted sprays like PhotoBlocker weren't legal, as well as from a man who said such products were proved in studies not to work. However, Joe responded his product wasn't against the law, and assured the second caller the studies he referenced didn't test PhotoBlocker